13 Reasons Dick Pics Need To Stop

An unsolicited pic of your penis on our phone = instant fail.

Fellas, opening a text message to an erect penis and a set of hairy balls is not something every girl grows up dreaming of one day experiencing. Just because the conversation has reached an intellectual level on Tinder, does not mean we fantasise about your junk.

RELATED: Why Do Men Send Dick Pics?

Yes, we may have imagined you grinding up on us somewhere along the line, however that mental image did not include you shoving your genitalia in our face. For the record, here are 13 other reasons you should quit clogging our inboxes with unsolicited pics of your bits.

1. If we wanted a dick pick, we’d ask for a dick pick. No ifs or buts about it.

13 Reasons Dick Pics Need To Stop2. Simply displaying your manhood does not make you any more manly.

dick pic 103. No one cares how much you groomed down there, your penis is no Monet.

4. Technically, it’s digital rape. We did not consent to a text message containing your loins. Put it away. Now.

banana5. FYI: Women are wooed intellectually, not visually. All pictures of your penis do are erase any hope you ever had of getting to third base with us.

13 Reasons Dick Pics Need To Stop6. Your chances of getting lucky aren’t going to increase as a result of your penis popping up on our smartphone without warning. Nothing says ‘buzz-kill’ more than a hairy peen no one asked to see.

dick pic 57. We don’t need to actually see how hard we made you over a few dirty text messages. Some things are better left to the imagination.

13 Reasons Dick Pics Need To Stop8. Dick pics do not turn us on. At all. If anything, they cause our vaginas to tighten in fear.

dick pic 79. We see your dick pic as a reflection of your ego, not your masculinity. So if you’re looking to be ‘unmatched’, you’ve just totally gone the wrong way about it.

Cucumber

10. Contrary to popular male belief, it’s not common courtesy to send one back. If you want to see us naked, you’re going to have to work a little harder than that.

Hotdog11. If you want to have sex with us, just say it. You’re more likely to score with your honesty than a selfie of your meat popsicle.
13 Reasons Dick Pics Need To Stop12. A dick pic is not a pick-up-line. And if you think it is, please do humanity a favour and just quit while you’re ahead.
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA13. And finally, and most importantly, penis pictures make NO sense. “Oh hey girl, I’m just gonna leave this here.” Why… Just WHY!?
Rocks

 

 

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