Just. Shut. Up.
If you’re a parent, you know: the onslaught of advice starts before you even have the kid. Besides your family and doctor bossing you around, total strangers are all too happy to tell you what you’re doing wrong, too.
I’ve had people on the subway tell me disapprovingly that my toddler daughter’s underwear was showing, grannies on the playground tell me to put a hat on my baby in the middle of Summer, and no end of well-meaning advice from family members.
People want to be helpful; I get it. But also, everyone thinks you should do everything their way, because it validates their own choices. And sometimes, even when advice is spot-on, you just don’t want to hear it. We know, mkay?
Here are 17 pieces of advice no mother wants to hear from you, ever again…
1. “You’ve got to get your baby to sleep through the night.”
2. “If you don’t teach her to sleep alone, she’ll be in your bed forever.”
3. “Sleep when the baby sleeps.”
4. “You should put your baby on a schedule.”
5. “You’ve got to cherish each day – it goes by so fast!”
6. “Let me give you a list of the best parenting books to read…”
7. “If you give her baby food from a jar, you might as well just feed her poison.”
8. “Try not to stress out so much; it’s bad for your kids.”
9. “That’s organic sunscreen, right? At least 80 SPF?”
10. “You really shouldn’t drink if you’re breastfeeding…”
11. “Maybe you should try cutting gluten, dairy, and sugar out of your child’s diet.”
12. “You should take her to my naturopath and have her tested for allergies.”
13. “These are the best years of your life! You should be happy!”
14. “Don’t try to be your kid’s friend.”
15. “You can’t dress like that anymore now that you’re a mother.”
16. “Be careful, your kids are watching.”
17. “Being a mother is the most important job in the world.”
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Comment: What’s the most annoying piece of parenting advice anyone’s ever given you?