29 Thoughts Every Woman Has Getting Her Nails Done

What is life?

Getting your nails done is an emotional process, what, with all the polish selecting and painfully slow drying time while trying to decipher what your manicurist is saying to her colleague in another language, it can really take it out of a gal.

And with all that time to sit and think as our digits are beautified, a lot of thoughts tend to race through our minds; existential, life-questioning stuff, like this…

1. Oh great. The salon’s packed again, I hope I don’t have to wait forever.

2. Did she just say go now or no way? Why do I always get someone with an incomprehensible accent?

3. Okay, to choose a nail polish…

4. This pink looks good, yep, definitely this one.

5. Wait. All of a sudden I’m overcome with an urge to try neon green today.

6. But what neon green to choose?

7. Hmm…this one’s nice, but so’s that one…

8. Oh wow, I’ve never seen this blue before, it’s so pretty.

9. URGHHHHH! Why is this so haaard?!

10. Wait. Why is that holographic glitter polish suddenly looking so good? Am I a holographic glitter kind of girl?

11. Hang on, didn’t I need a nude to match my new shoes?

12. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE.

13. Never mind, back to the pink I had twenty minutes ago.

14. Oh yay! They’re ready for me now. Half of me is still thinking I should’ve got the blue… no, she’s already started, never mind.

15. Wait. What is she saying to her friend in Korean and laughing so hysterically about?

16. They keep looking at me while they’re talking.

17. Are they saying ‘ugly’? I swear I just heard them use the word ugly when they laughed and looked at me.

18. Damn it, why don’t I speak Korean?!!

19. Oh well, at least my nails are starting to look good again.

20. Oooh! That pink looks great. I have such good instincts.

21. Crap. Now my phone’s ringing. How do you answer a phone with wet nails? Where is a servant when you need one?

22. Drying time…will this ever end?

23. What is life?

24. Damn… my fingers are looking fine.

25. I just hope this drying machine isn’t giving my hands cancer.

26. Or making them tan. That would look weird.

27. These puppies better not smudge when I take them out or I am going to flip the eff out.

28. Now for the ever so careful touch test…this is like dismantling a bomb…eeeasy does it…dry!

29. And they’re done! Time to Instagram this shit. #newmani

Images via zimbio.com and giphy.com.