Just don’t do it.
Let’s just get this out of the way: the vagina is complicated and confusing AF at the best of times.
Few men understand how it works, and even us gals are regularly stumped by it. What is discharge supposed to look like, anyway? Why is reaching an orgasm so goddamn hard sometimes? Does the G-spot even exist? And what’s the go with menstrual cups?
It can be easy to overthink it. But even easier to ignore logic altogether and go with what feels right in the moment, which is why most of us have been guilty at some point or other of putting something inside our vaginas that definitely shouldn’t have been in there. So in the interest of preventing future discomfort and head-scratching, here are six things that you should straight out never let come into contact with your vah-jay-jay…
We’ve all been in that awkward situation where our vaginal juices just weren’t flowing like they needed to be in a moment of passion, only to discover we were all out of lube. In times like these, even the least inventive of gals can turn into a sexual MacGuyver, frantically mentally assessing every possible alternative within eyesight. That tub of Vaseline on your dresser usually reserved for your chapped lips? It’ll do…right? According to Dr Sherry Ross, while the multi-use product may seem like a good idea in place regular lube, you should definitely keep it away from your vagina.
“Using Vaseline can increase the risk of a bacterial infection and break down latex condoms,” says Ross.
If you’re really in a bind, you’re better off reaching for your bottle of Aloe Vera gel. Because it’s gentle and neutral on all skin types, it’s safe to put in your vagina, provided you ensure it’s the pure stuff, and not a gel containing added dyes or artificial ingredients.
2. Butt stuff
Anal sex and anal play can be a lot of fun, especially when sex toys are involved; but you should never, ever put those toys near your vagina once they’ve made contact with your anus. Doing so can cause bacteria to transfer from your butt to your vah-jay-jay, potentially setting off an infection. The same goes for your partner’s fingers and penis.
So if you enjoy incorporating a bit of butt play into your sex routine, ensure your partner puts on a new condom after his penis has been near your anus, use different sex toys for butt and vaginal penetration, and always ensure any fingers that have been near your anus (or your partner’s anus, for that matter) are thoroughly washed before coming into contact with your vagina.
3. Electric toothbrushes
If you say you’ve never looked at an electric toothbrush and at least fleetingly toyed with the idea of using it as a vibrator, you’re most likely a liar. The good news is, provided it’s fitted with a new, unused, very soft-bristled head and lubricant is used, it can be safe to use externally for clitoral stimulation. (Though if you start to experience any irritation whatsoever you should stop immediately.)
Putting it inside your vagina, however, is not a good idea, as you risk getting it stuck and having to endure an embarrassing sex-related emergency room visit, or causing tiny lacerations in the delicate inner walls of your lady garden. “The blood supply to the inside of the vagina is so rich that even the smallest cut can cause incredible amounts of bleeding, and although it’s a forgiving area and typically will heal, that’s not a chance that you really want to take,” advises gynecologist, Dr Alyssa Dweck.
There’s been a great deal of contention over the need for vaginal douches (devices used to irrigate and cleanse the vagina, thought to make it more hygienic) since they first became a thing. Most experts agree that vaginal douching is about as necessary as colonic irrigation. Much like the digestive system, the vagina is already well-equipped to regulate itself, cleansing out bacteria through its own natural discharge.
More so, douches can throw off your vagina’s delicate bacterial balance, creating a breeding ground for infection, and have been linked to Pelivic Inflammatory Disease (PID) and bacterial vaginosis. It’s perfectly natural to experience discharge and mild vaginal odor, so you shouldn’t attempt to ‘cleanse’ this away. Though if you notice a strong, foul smell or unusual discharge, you should speak to your gyno or regular doctor immediately.
5. Flavored lubes
Flavored lube can make giving a guy head a whole lot more fun and tasty, but it should never come into contact with your vagina. Why? Simply put, because flavored lubes contain sugars, which yeast feeds off, putting them in your vah-jay-jay can set off yeast overgrowth, causing a thrush breakout.
In fact even sugar-free varieties of flavored lubricants should be kept clear of your vagina, because they typically contain chemicals used to artificially sweeten the formula that can cause irritation, itching and inflammation. So leave the strawberry lube for his penis, and stick to the traditional stuff on yourself.
6. Your lover’s mouth, after a rim job
This links back to point two about not mixing anal bacteria with vaginal bacteria. It’s easy to get carried away in the moment if you’re enjoying a kinky tongue swirled around your butt and want to pull your lover’s head straight onto your clit, but you should definitely avoid it, or else risk landing a bacterial infection.
If you enjoy oral sex on both your lady bits and your butt, by all means, let your partner go to town, but ensure he starts on your vaginal area and finishes on your butt – not the other way around. Otherwise, simply get him to go, er, ‘freshen up’ his mouth and face before moving back to Pussy Town.
Image via tumblr.com.
Comment: Have you ever put something in your vagina that you had a bad reaction to?