It’s easier than you think.
Have you ever wished you could get that super hot guy to come over and talk to you, or stand up to your impossible-to-please, power-hungry boss, or get up and speak in front of an audience without quaking in your shoes and feeling like you’re going to pass out?
What if I told you you can learn do those things, and in one minute or less?
Luckily, we have people – or rather, gurus – to lend us their wisdom and guide us through all these scenarios, and more. Here, some experts in their fields give us hot tips for winning people over in 60 seconds or less. Read and learn!
1. Wave him over
World-renowned dating expert Matthew Hussey has a surefire technique women can use to get a guy to approach them – fast. The secret? Just wave him over.
He explains it all in this video, but basically, when you’re out with your girlfriends and you see a cute guy, just smile and give him a little ‘come here’ wave. When he comes over, tell him you just wanted to say hi. “How cute is that?” says Hussey.
2. Get emotional
People will walk across hot coals for Tony Robbins – literally. The famed Awaken the Giant Within author and guru is known for his powerful public speaking skills, and for leading seminars where attendees actually walk across hot coals. He says the key to getting an audience to engage with you is to tap into your own emotions.
“You need to be in the moment and flexible to make it real and raw,” says Robbins.
He’s coached Bill Clinton and Oprah Winfrey, so obviously the man knows what he’s talking about.
3. Act interested
Even better, try to actually be interested. Dale Carnegie, author of the 1936 classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, said the number one way to get people interested in you, is to be interested in them. Genuinely interested. So ask a question, and instead of waiting for your turn to talk, really listen to the other person. People love talking about themselves; giving them a chance to do so is a sure-fire way to win someone over.
4. Strike a power pose
Next time your boss is giving you a hard time, throw up your hands. Really. Harvard Business School psychologist Amy Cuddy, who gave one of the most popular TED talks of all time on the subject of ‘power posing’, says that “a person can, by assuming two simple one-minute poses, embody power and instantly become more powerful.”
Cuddy says the poses – which entail either raising your hands in the air, or posing like Wonder Woman, legs apart and hands on hips for 60 seconds when you’re alone in the bathroom before you meet with someone – actually cause hormonal changes in our brains, elevating our testosterone and decreasing our cortisol levels. That gives us a feeling of power and a higher tolerance for risk when we walk into that all important meeting.
5. Speak their language
Nicholas Boothman, author of How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less, says we have less than two minutes to get someone to like us upon first meeting us. To connect, he recommends matching the tone of your voice and your speech patterns to the person you’re talking to.
“It’s not what you think, it’s the way that you think it; it’s not what you say, it’s the way that you say it,” says Boothman.
So if you want your mother-in-law to like you, try talking to her the same way she talks to you. She just might feel like you’re finally speaking her language.
6. Be a mirror
In a 1999 New York University research project, 78 men and women worked on tasks with partners who were secretly in cahoots with the researchers. The undercover participants mimicked their partners to varying degrees, mirroring their body language, gestures, and facial expressions.
At the end of the task, the partners were asked how much they liked the person they were working with. Without fail, the more their partners had copied them, the more they liked them. Researchers call it ‘the chameleon effect,’ and you can use it, too. When the person you’re talking to leans in, lean in. When they shrug or nod, you do it too. Science says it works.
Did you ever notice what a great smile Oprah Winfrey has? Of course you have. We’ve all seen that megawatt smile beaming out at her adoring audiences. Turns out, smiling could be one of the keys to her success; it’s another one of Dale Carnegie’s tricks to winning people over. People want to be liked, and they’re flattered when people are happy to see them.
“Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you’,” says Carnegie.
So next time you want to make a good impression, flash ’em your pearly whites, Oprah-style.
GIFs via tumblr.com, wifflegif.com, imgur.com, giphy.com.
Comment: Have you tried any of these techniques? Did they work for you?