Stop kissing every frog, hoping he’s a prince.
If you’ve been swiping in the online dating world for a few years now, I bet you can hold your guilty hand up and say you’ve made a few shitty choices out of fear of being alone.
You start to view the idea of having a relationship with rose-tinted glasses, and romanticize the potential of what could be with every date you’ve scheduled for the weekend. You figure if you date every single guy in your town, one of them has to be your Prince…right? Except lowering your standards has just made you cynical about the idea of ever finding love. Oh, and this attitude is usually accompanied by a sympathy shag from your shitty ex…
That was me a year ago.
I’d self-diagnosed myself with dating burnout. I know you aren’t meant to turn to the internet for medical diagnoses, but I needed answers for the sudden pangs of anxiety whenever I thought about my love life.
I felt like time was running out for me and that I needed to date every man in my town so I could meet my perfect match. And the result was many terrible dates and one-nighters I still cringe about.
This self-destructive approach wasn’t healthy, and the internet backed me up on that; Dr Google diagnosed me as having ‘dating burnout’. I was using men and dating as Band-Aids to mask the pain from the previous crappy date. But the cure for my current illness wasn’t another man-related Band-Aid, it was taking a step back from the dating game altogether.
So if you’re showing any of these symptoms of dating burnout, I’d definitely prescribe deleting all your apps and taking a step back from dating altogether…
1. Every occasion is about finding penis
You’re so desperate to meet someone that you quiz your friends on the possibility of eligible bachelors at the next event. Your spend hours preening and psyching yourself up for what could be the day you find Mr Right…only to be disappointed that your friend was right, there are no fuckable men at a baby shower.
2. Standards have gone out the window
Every bad date has you crossing out a quality you promised yourself you wouldn’t compromise on when it came to finding love. Your current standard? A divorced 40-something guy who lives in his mother’s garage and snacks on day-old pizza he stores under his bed.
3. Cynical has become your middle name
You go into each date with a pessimistic mindset that it won’t work out. Your self-sabotaging attitude about finding love is as stinky as garlic breath, and men are smelling it from a mile away – cynicism isn’t a sexy scent!
4. Your self-worth has gone down the toilet
You see the lack of penis in your life as a reflection of your value. You’ve actually started to use men as markers for your self-worth. Side note: life gets a whole lot better when we embrace how fabulous we are, and the fact we don’t need a man to ever ‘complete’ us.
5. Romanticizing relationships is your fave hobby
Relationships, although good, are still filled with many unsexy qualities, like the sharing of bills, arguing over whose turn it is to take out the garbage, and the fact you’re tied down to one D. Yet you currently have a totally rose-tinted view of what it’s like to be coupled up, which is only setting you up for disappointment.
6. Dating has become a chore
You start to begrudgingly schedule in four dates a weekend; a way of working through men in a more efficient effort to find The One. Dating has lost that warm, fuzzy in the belly feeling it used to have, and you approach it with as much joy as you would writing up the week’s grocery list or cleaning the toilet.
7. It’s starting to affect your entire life
Man drama has a way of permeating every facet of our life and consuming all of our thoughts, even if we’re single. And believing you’re destined to live life alone will slowly make you hate things you once loved, and view your life with negative eyes.
8. You keep running back into the arms of an ex
You’re so desperate for love, you’ve actually started reevaluating your view of the douchebag who cheated on you with your ex-BFF. And you use sex with him as a way of self-soothing, even though it reliably results in you feeling like shit afterwards. Running back to an ex is the biggest sign you need to throw you phone in the bin and forget about dating and men for a while, so you can focus on working on the most important thing in your life: you.
Images via Giphy.com.
Comment: Have you ever taken a self-imposed break from dating?