Are you overdosing on coupledom?
When you finally find a partner who makes you happy and you glide into a relaxed relationship that ticks along beautifully, it’s easy to take your eye off nurturing your friendships.
At the beginning, you’re forgiven for swapping girls’ nights in for a night at his place and switching girls’ nights out for romantic dinners for two.
But sooner rather than later, you need to start scheduling time with your friends again and making them a priority before they get hurt, or worse, before your friendships they get damaged beyond repair. Here are eight signs your friendships could do with some of that TLC you’ve been reserving exclusively for your boo…
1. You dodge their phone calls
You’re sitting on the sofa with your SO and your phone flashes but you don’t take the call because you don’t want to get stuck on a call. You’ve probably started keeping your phone on silent so it doesn’t interrupt your love bubble.
2. You keep yourself free – just in case
Your beloved friend invites you out but you find yourself being hesitant and turning them down because you can’t remember if you’ve already got plans with your boo. Or, worse still, you want to keep your diary as clear as possible so you can spend all of your available minutes with him.
3. Your friends don’t send you cute messages anymore
Funny memes, cute videos shared on FB and sweet text messages from your friends used to be on the reg. Now, your text alerts are mostly from your other half and you can’t remember being happy to receive a message from anyone other than your SO.
4. You’ve stopped taking friends as your plus-one
Your friends used to be your go-to plus-ones. You could count on them to dress the part, talk the talk and walk the walk, no matter where you had to whisk them off to. Now, you wouldn’t dream of inviting one of them over your man.
5. You always take your SO to group events
A group dinner is planned. There will be plenty of friends there and it’s the ideal opportunity to catch up…but you take your SO with you despite knowing that it will make girly gossip unlikely.
6. You’re not on the guest list anymore
You click onto FB and see photos of your friends laughing, dancing and having a ball. You weren’t invited. You wouldn’t have gone even if they asked because you’d rather be starring starry-eyed at your boo – and that’s precisely why they’ve stopped asking you to join them.
7. Your SO is your only topic of conversation
“We did this”, “We laughed so hard at that”…It’s the nail in the coffin of free-flowing conversation with your friends when tales of what you’ve done together as a couple run on loop.
8. You never make the first move anymore
When you’ve stopped reaching out to your friends, you’re in troubled water. You don’t message them to see how they’re doing or simply check in and you’ve lost touch with what’s going on in their lives, but you don’t pick up the phone to make a plan to see them anymore. You’re taking it for granted that they’ll make the first move. And chances are, they’ll tire of this one-sided arrangement.
So if this sounds like you, disembark from your relationship rocket occasionally and remember to give your friends some TLC too. A great man by your side is worth treasuring, but best girlfriends who’ll ride it out with you when your relationship hits tough times are worth investing your time into as well.
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Comment: Are you guilty of any of the above, or do you have a friend who is?