9 Ways Masturbating Improves Your Sex Life

Straight from the expert’s mouth.

There is still so much negativity surrounding masturbation: if you’re touching yourself, you’re desperate; women shouldn’t be masturbating because it’s a filthy habit; only people who are lonely masturbate; if you do it, there’s no way you should talk about it.

It needs to stop.

To put these ridiculous ideas to bed (sorry), I had a chat to someone who is fully clued in on the subject, on a professional level. Here, sex and relationship therapist Giverny Lewis lists the reasons you need to be masturbating if you want a good sex life.

1. It proves you’ve got a healthy libido

If you’re even semi-regularly getting a solo fix, it means you have an active sex drive that isn’t just dependent on your partner’s needs. You can sleep easy knowing you’re bringing plenty of sexual desire to the relationship.

2. It takes the pressure off partner sex

Especially through illness, absence or loss, it’s important to be able to be sexually independent. Partners cannot possibly meet all of our sexual needs all of the time. And even if most of the time you’re in sync, it’s not always going to be that way. That doesn’t mean masturbation will or should replace partner sex – just think of it as part of a huge suite of options to get your rocks off.

3. It supports bodily autonomy

Masturbating is you taking your pleasure into your own hands, quite literally. It helps you feel more connected and positive about your body, and lets you remain connected with your own touch and sexual response.

4. It allows you to explore what you might like to try with your partner

At the risk of sounding like a particularly saucy broken record, masturbation and exploring your own body and sexual response is the best possible way to find out what you like and don’t like, and identify techniques, positions, roles or experiences you would consider wanting to try with a partner. This can do wonders for sexual communication, which is always a good thing.

5. It works wonders for your soul

Orgasms relieve stress, make you super relaxed and can even help you sleep. That leaves you plenty of time and energy to be a more chilled and generally nicer partner.

6. It gives you an out

For people who aren’t in a relationship, masturbation takes the pressure off finding a partner for sex. It also gives you time away from partner sex to figure out exactly what YOU want and need.

7. It’s fun and it’s free

This one’s pretty self-explanatory. Sometimes it’s the most fun you can have with your clothes off (or on, if that’s what you fancy).

And from another perspective (that of a sex writer), here’s why I believe masturbating will improve your sex life…

8. It helps you climax

I’m not just talking about when you’re actually doing it. The next time some guy is fumbling about on top of you, just think about what you were doing to yourself the other night and how that felt. Really get in to the emotional and creative side of it, and before you know it you’ll have reached the big O.

9. It’s a great confidence booster

There’s a beautiful power in getting yourself off – it encourages that ‘I don’t need a man’ attitude (the kind these vibrators can help you achieve). And, let’s be honest, we could all do with a small reminder of that every now and then.

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Comment: What are your views on masturbation?