“I was saying, “No, stop,” and it was just completely ignored.”
Amy Schumer has revealed some very personal details about her past in an unusually sombre new interview with Marie Claire, including the fact she recently realized her first time having sex was not consensual.
“My first sexual experience was not a good one,” Schumer revealed.
“I didn’t think about it until I started reading my journal again. When it happened, I wrote about it almost like a throwaway. It was like, and then I looked down and realized he was inside me. He was saying, “I’m so sorry” and “I can’t believe I did this”.”
Schumer was going through her old journals, which she kept as a teenager, while writing her memoirs, when she found her disturbing documentation of the event, triggering other painful memories from her sex life.
“I had another time with a boyfriend where I was saying, “No, stop,” and it was just completely ignored.”
However, despite the traumatic nature of her early sexual experiences, the Trainwreck star, who’s previously joked about rape in her stand-up, says she’s not looking to punish her ex-boyfriends.
“This was 17 years ago. There are just so many factors,” the comedian said.
However, the 35 year-old also went on to express she feels victim-blaming is a huge issue that needs to be addressed.
“You know, with the rape survivor, it’s not just shaming, it’s fury,” she explained.
“It makes people so mad if you’re not a perfect victim.”
While the comedian has always been open about her sexuality, she admits to feeling insecure in her current relationship to furniture designer Ben Hanisch saying she, “can’t handle love” and feels “he’s going to leave me and tell me he never loved me. I feel so bad for him. How exhausting it must be dating me.”
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