Interviewer: “See this pen, sell it to me.”
How many would you like? There’s a discount if you buy a dozen.
I didn’t think this was a sales position.
Why would I want to sell you a pen? You’ve already got one.
“How do you cope with stressful situations?”
I try to turn stressful situations into a challenge.
I never get stressed.
I go home and drink a bottle of wine, smoke a pack of ciggies, and cry.
“Are you planning to have a family soon?”
I know you are looking for someone who can give you 100% commitment and I can assure you of that.
No, absolutely, definitely not.
No, my partner ‘shoots blanks’. Let me tell you about it…
“What kinds of people do you have difficulty working with?”
I generally work well with most people. I do have some trouble though when people complain without offering solutions.
I’ve never had anything but excellent working relationships in the past.
“What is your greatest weakness?”
I’m a bit of a perfectionist, which I see as a weakness and others see as a strength.
I work much too hard (accompanied by a winsome, apologetic shrug) but none other than that.
You know, I really hate it when people ask this question.
“Where would you like to be in 5 years?”
I would hope to have been promoted to x position (several steps higher than the one being offered.)
In your chair.
I’d like to win Lotto and live in the Bahamas.
How did you score?
You’ve shown intelligence and poise with just the right amount of sass and savvy. You have displayed honesty in a clever way and revealed enough ambition to show your keenness to rise up the corporate ladder. Congratulations you’ve got the job!
You’re on the right track but in trying so hard to impress, there’s bullshit everywhere. You’re projecting confidence but may come across as being too aggressive so tone it down one notch; you need to remember that the person interviewing you may be a boss who’s insecure about their position. You may still get the job, however.
You’re very honest but that won’t get you the big corporate pozzy, as refreshing as it may be in such a ‘political’ arena. People in other fields may snap you up, however, an advertising creative director, for example. An original and outspoken individual, you have probably already been sacked from a few jobs, and your refusal to talk-the- talk makes you well suited to being self-employed.