Unsingle, finding love

Between Christmas parties and holidays, December is a lonely month for singles of all ages. No one knows this better than former bookseller Louise Gabriel. She spent many years as a single desperately seeking love before she learnt how to use neuroscience techniques to move her mind into the love zone and join Team Love. Now happily married, she has documented her experiences in herbook, Unsingle: The art and science of finding true love in the hope that her experiences can help others. Her book is partly a documentation of her personal journey and partly a helpful guide on how ordinary people can use neuroscience discoveries and techniques to make themselves relationship-ready.

Written in a realistic, practical and engaging, down-to-earth style, Unsingle contains breakthrough approaches for anyone searching for love. It is based on neuroscience which tells us that by changing what we focus on we can change our life and our experiences. Specifically, Unsingle:

  • Uses creative processes to move the mind into the love zone and keep it there (by rewiring neural pathways to support positive beliefs about love).
  • Offers simple, positive step by step approaches to understanding ourselves and how we are wired for love, identifying blocks and providing tools to move past them once and for all.
  • Explains how the love zone within our brains is under our control, ready, willing and able to take direction and follow our lead.

Louise points out that many singles are unaware of how negative they are about love. Many subconsciously believe the myth that there is a random love god out there bestowing favours on a lucky few.

10 signs you’re not playing for team love:

  1. You’ve wanted a serious relationship for a while now and it hasn’t materialised.
  2. You hear about a celeb love scandal and immediately jump online to read every detail. You follow it. You talk about it. You almost take it personally and think about how you would feel if it was you.
  3. Someone you know breaks up on Facebook and you want to know all the specifics. It makes you feel better about being single or about your own relationship woes.
  4. You’re drawn to books, articles, movies, programs and songs that focus on train crash relationships, or on being alone, lonely, heartbroken or unappreciated.
  5. When you read about or hear about happy couples, it makes you feel slightly sick. You feel a horrible mixture of envy and longing and like that sort of love is a million miles away for you.
  6. You torment yourself by remaining FB “friends” with an ex who has moved on and avidly monitor his newsfeed, trying to dissect what every syllable means.
  7. You think about your singleness a lot, and worry that you’ll never meet anyone. Your anxiety over your single status is starting to affect the rest of your life and your general happiness.
  8. You believe that love, for whatever reason, doesn’t work out for you and wonder underneath it all (not that you’d ever admit this to anyone else) if perhaps you’re destined to be alone.
  9. You focus on any tiny imperfection you might have, physical or otherwise, and think it makes you ineligible for true love. You put up with sub-standard relationships because you don’t think you deserve better.
  10. You say to yourself or other people that all men are _______ (insert negative label), whilst simultaneously wanting Prince Charming to come along and transform your life.

Change your approach and you’ll change your prospects.

Unsingle: The art and science of finding true love by Louise Gabriel will be published by Finch Publishing on December 1, 2014. It is available in paperback ($24.99) and eBook ($9.99).