Ask Kathy B: Why doesn’t he understand me?
Question: Hi Kathy,
I have met a man of a different culture (Welsh). He is very educated and a kind person. My problem is he doesn?t seem to have a sense of humour. No matter what I say, it always seems to upset him. I have a very good sense of humour and like to make pay outs to lighten a situation. I commented that his accent was strange when talking to him on the phone for the first time, as we have only talked on the internet. Well you would have thought I told him he had two heads. His reaction was one of disgust that I would make such a statement, as everyone else tells him his accent is very attractive. Well I replied to this that seeing he couldn?t change it, it would have to do and made laughing symbols.
This started world war 3. Now I have this sort of humour with everyone and have never had a problem before. I don?t mean to offend and never dreamt it would.
This seems to happen every time I open my mouth and now I have got to the stage of having to thing about all that I write. This has taken the joy out of our conversations and I want to know are they that different to us?
Kathy B: Hi Donna, You have raised a very interesting question about international love. Sometimes there are major cultural differences and it is true that Welsh people have a deep cultural history most of us know little about. For example did you know that there is a long history of local people fighting to keep their local language of Welsh, alive? Having dated men from a handful of continents, I have to say that even if there are varied cultural differences, it absolutely is possible to get on like a house on fire. After all what?s that they say about the international language of luuuurve? It is true that sometimes those differences are the very thing that attract you together like moths to a flame and give you that bada-bing chemistry. It also can give you something to talk about during those sometimes awkward early dating moments. If you are dealing with someone from another country then it never hurts to do a bit of background research so visit www.famouswelsh.com to have a few comments up your sleeve when conversation runs dry. The two Welsh guys I?ve spent any real length of time with talking about this very issue is my friend Marcus who is one of the sweetest men I?ve ever met and when I interviewed the sexy actor Ioan Gruffudd, who has appeared in Horatio Hornblower and Titanic. Both of them seem to me to be incredibly kind, sexy and it has to be said ?. damn funny, which leads me to believe that you just happened across a bad seed. Or perhaps this guy is destined to be with someone else or isn?t confident enough to deal with a real connection at the moment (with too many chips on those shoulders of his!). I think the problem with this guy is that there is no natural chemistry there between you. If you are still in contact with him then make an effort three times and once you have done that – without the effort being reciprocated or at least responded to – then wait for him to make the next move. If it doesn?t happen then quickly move on. Don?t push it. Then in the future, be careful about investing too much time into an email relationship. The internet is a great tool to make contact with people you?d probably never meet any other way but it is easy to have unrealistic expectations and to make him into your ?dream guy?, even if in reality he may be a total toad. No-one should make you feel bad about yourself, no matter what country they are from. If they do it is time to look elsewhere for love.