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They say actions speak louder than words, but when it comes to online dating, the words we use in our profiles can have a serious impact on our appeal to the opposite sex, according to In a study of 12,000 members, it uncovered the words that are most likely to attract attention from compatible singles, as well as those that might turn them off.

For men, adjectives like perceptive, physically fit and passionate are more likely to see women initiate conversations with them, while the terms quiet, energetic and respectful can have a negative impact on their dating profiles’ appeal.

Women who use words such as sweet, funny and ambitious receive more approaches from the opposite sex, while words like spiritual, quiet and romantic fall flat.

And these extra approaches are far from insignificant. Perceptive and physically fit men attract between 58-143% more interest from women who want to get to know them better; whereas sweet, funny or ambitious women get between 28-38% more approaches.

eHarmony’s Marie-Claire Ducharme Sayers said:

“Both men and women respond more favourably to positive and extroverted terms, while quiet or modest descriptors are shown to have an adverse effect on the attractiveness of a dating profile.

“While there is evidence to show the words you use can have an impact on how you’re perceived by the opposite sex, eHarmony matches its members based on core personality traits and values, which, when it comes to great dates and long-lasting relationships, is really what matters.” 

Top 10 best words to use in an online dating profile


  • Perceptive
  • Physically fit
  • Passionate
  • Intelligent
  • Ambitious
  • Optimistic
  • Funny
  • Warm
  • Creative
  • Thoughful


  • Sweet
  • Funny
  • Ambitious
  • Thoughtful
  • Easy-going
  • Passionate
  • Outgoing
  • Hard-working
  • Spontaneous
  • Happy