sex, relationships, sex advice. orgasms, faking orgasms, relationship advice, better sex

Let’s be honest, we’ve probably all been there at least once in our lives. Whether it was a bad one night stand, a very drunken encounter that wasn’t going to end well or simply a bad sex session, the thought of faking it has either crossed your mind or actually happened. Let’s be clear here, faking an orgasm has never helped any woman achieve what she really wants which is usually an actual orgasm!

There are lots of reasons why, as women, we think about faking it. I’m going to tell you why you really shouldn’t…

Reason 1: We want to please our partner – yes, watching us climax makes them feel like they did a great job, but you’re only lying to them if you fake it. Wouldn’t they be much happier if they knew you were really getting there and not putting it on to make them feel better?

Reason 2: We’re tired and want to go to sleep. A real orgasm will actually help give you a much better night’s sleep than a fake one. If you’re so tired you can’t be bothered to have sex in the first place – then just don’t have it. One night off won’t kill either of you or your relationship. Besides, there’s always morning sex!

Reason 3: The sex is pretty bad and we just want it to be over – chances are if the sex is really that bad you’re probably not in a relationship with this person and can therefore decide not to have sex with them again. That still doesn’t make it ok to fake it. If you do, you are passing that bad sex off on to the next unsuspecting person as your current lover will think he’s done something right this time.

If the sex is that bad and you are in a loving relationship then you need to learn the art of COMMUNICATION – or ‘Cum-munication’ as we like to say here at Tickle and Delight HQ. Faking an orgasm within a relationship only shows a lack of sexual understanding between you and your partner and from this trouble is sure to arise.

Ok we know why we do it but is faking it really that bad? Yes! Faking an orgasm is seriously bad for you and here’s why…

Reason 1: It ruins your sexual experience – you are slowly poisoning your sexual experience. If you continue to fake it you cannot suddenly come back to life from the fake graveyard or you will have to admit you’ve been faking it this whole time and that would hurt! By continuing to fake it though you will soon become emotionally detached from sex with your partner and start to feel as though you just can’t achieve the sexual pleasure you desire.

Reason 2: It doesn’t let you bond – the hormones and pheromones that you release during an orgasm will help you bond with your partner better. Yes, you will both feel more in love afterwards! There will be a stronger connection between you. There is no better way to really ‘be in a relationship’.

Reason 3: He will never learn. It’s highly unlikely that you will ever say ‘Oh Darling, penetration along with slight clitoral simulation and a wild kiss makes my organs go crazy with an earth shattering orgasm.’ Yet if you never tell him, how will he learn?

Female orgasms are often complicated enough with up to 70% of women unable to climax without direct clitoral stimulation – although there are now things to help with that too – like Play O by Durex! Figuring out what you like is the first step to fantastic orgasms. Don’t be afraid to experiment with sex toys by yourself first and then include your partner to help work this out. There are toys specifically for clitoral stimulation and also toys designed to target the G-spot. How on earth is your partner supposed to know what you need if you don’t tell him?

So what can you do?

The first step is to actually explain to your partner what you want or like without deflating his ego or hurting his feelings. You can try the direct approach by simply explaining to your partner what really turns you on. You can take the more subtle approach ‘ooh that feels great but I really like it when you do this’. You can also take control by selecting the positions that work best for you. Or you can take the adventurous approach like suggesting you would like to ‘try’ this or that in bed this time. There is a vast choice of fabulous couples sex toys that will heighten pleasure for you both whilst enabling you to achieve the orgasm you really want. Your partner would be much more likely to experiment with new things if he thinks it will make you happier in bed.

However you decide to tackle the situation, just be clear that once he gets to experience that amazing female orgasm wrap him in its magic, he will never stop doing what you want.

So here’s to NEVER faking it again!

Miss Tickles, resident Sexpert and Sex Toy Party Princess at tickleanddelight.com along with her titillating team, travel the country bringing Sex-U-Cation to the women of Australia and New Zealand in the privacy of their own homes, surrounded by friends, where they can laugh and learn together. Find out more by booking your own party at tickleanddelight.com