love, romance, relationships, finding love, dating, dating disasters

Women have been warned about looking for love in places like pubs, clubs or some online dating websites. Sorry, but it’s bull###! Finding love can and does happen anywhere. If there’s an attraction there, why should it matter where you find it?

If you been putting yourself out there looking for love but keep striking out, it’s more likely your expectations rather than the environment  are sabotaging your search for Mr Right. You’re liking finding Mr Right-Now but lets face it, he’s not exactly hiding. Just add alcohol to any Tom, Dick or Harry and there he is! Sorry fellas, but you know it’s true.

RELATED: What men want – Love, Sex and Romance

When it comes to finding the “one”, there really isn’t a right or wrong place as many people are led to believe. For example, if you’re not a church goer (where people do recommend finding a good man) you’re not going to find anything in common with most men you find there anyway. How on earth can he even come close to being the right guy for you then? In all honesty he can’t. Not unless you suddenly change your entire lifestyle and that’s just ridiculous.

If you are meeting people in pubs, clubs or bars but haven’t been happy with the outcome of the relationships you’re finding there, you probably need to change your game plan. You’ve likely been doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. So many people fall into this trap. Only when you change your behaviour will you manage to change the outcome. Make sense?

So for one, if you are finding some companionship when you’re somewhere “wrong”, that’s half the battle. The second half of the battle is what you do with that companionship when you find  it. Not all men are the same. Yes, of course if it’s dangled in front of them most of them will take it. Men are hunters, that’s what they do, but ultimately they are after the challenge whether they know it or not!! Plus, it’s incredible how persistent they can be when they really want something. There’s not need to chase because if a man is interested, he’ll usually come to you.

Basically if you are wanting more than a quick fling, a night of passion or a two date romance then plan for it. Resign the fact that you won’t be hooking up with strangers or casual acquaintances and make it clear what you are looking for. Don’t settle for less no matter how studly he is! Guys talk ladies, so it soon gets around who they can hook up with and who they can’t. Men don’t want someone long term, who will go home with anyone at the click of their fingers. There’s no challenge in that.

When word gets out that you’re a challenge and not easy pickings you’ll actually get way more attention. Be aware of how you present yourself and don’t aim to be the sexiest or hottest girl there either. You want to be alluring, not intimidating. Also, aim for the less is more look with your make up but not your clothing. You don’t want the way you look to scream one-night-stand when what you really want is a relationship. Men aren’t stupid, they know the difference.

While you’re getting this extra attention, work out who is there for what reason and you should be able to find someone who is looking for a similar relationship to you. People tend to forget that it really doesn’t matter where you find love. I met my long term partner in a very “wrong” place. (No I’m not sharing, it’s embarrassing how wrong it was!)

Plus, how will women find out who they have in front of them, if they continue to make assumptions about a mans motives? Just because you are both in the “wrong” place, doesn’t mean neither of you will find love there. You just might need to search a little harder and be a bit pickier.

Despite the fact that men do go to pubs and clubs or search online for a hook up, there are also plenty of very decent men there who maybe simply too shy to approach a lady or not after a fling at all. You won’t find that out unless you give some or at least one of them a chance. Be choosey, change your game plan and find the one searching for something more substantial and just killing time until you show up. It’s not easy out there, but if you play your cards right you’ll come out a winner!

Good luck!

Image via rockpele.com