For the men
– When you’re trying to meet someone you’ve spotted across a crowded bar, offer to buy her a drink and be sure to let her know your intention is to introduce yourself and meet her rather than have her feeling obligated to talk to you all night. If she is with a friend, buy the friend a drink as well and include them both in conversation. Be prepared to move on after you’ve finished your drink. Sometimes it’s wiser to ask for a phone number instead of trying to hang around.
– Some women have very sensitive sleaze radars so forget the clever one liners and stick with old fashioned good manners and chivalry.
– If you want to impress, give her flowers.
– Be a gentleman, go ahead, take the risk. Open doors, take her coat, walk on the outside of the footpath, call her when you say you will. Women like the fact that you care enough to make the effort.
– Flatter her, she likes to hear you say she looks great rather than watch your eyes wandering.
For the women
– If you feel uncomfortable about a guy buying you a drink, buy the next round or if you are out to dinner and he insists on paying for dinner, let him pay then take him for a nightcap to a bar or club and you pay. Any obligation you feel is over but be careful not to confuse his attempts to be a gentleman and pay as being a way of making you feel you owe him.
– Men have a primeval need to be the hero so let him be one without trying to compete. His hero status doesn’t diminish you.
– Every compliment is not necessarily designed to seduce you. Accept flattery with good grace and learn how to pay him compliments.
– Loosen up, there is nothing liberating about putting out your own garbage bins and letting him open a door for you won’t stop you getting that promotion or signing that business deal.
– Thank him when he makes the effort to do something to spoil you and return the favour.
– Invite him out somewhere you know he’d like to go or buy tickets to a show or movie you know he wants to see.
– A great date is one where you’ve planned to do something with your date in mind. Make it special and specific. Be creative and make choices that show you’ve put effort into a date. Tailor it to them and their interests. To do this you need to listen well and remember little bits of information that they have given about themselves. Above all, be organised, there is nothing worse than meeting your date and saying “Well what do you want to do?”
– Choose a restaurant that you know has their favourite dish on the menu.
– A romantic spot with a wonderful view.
– Somewhere nostalgic for them, a place that has some significance
– Go to a day spa that has couples treatment rooms
– Charter a sailing boat if your date is a water baby.
By Michelle Lewis
Michelle has been one of Australia’s leading matchmakers and as a relationship expert is the founder of Date Doctors.
Her first book is The Street Guide for Flirting. We all notice that guy or girl who effortlessly breezes into a room and immediately attracts the attention of every individual there. And they’re not necessarily the best looking, wealthiest or smartest in the crowd. So what’s the secret? This guide shows you how to be the most fabulous flirt.
RRP $19.95 but only $17.96 if you buy from the SheSaid Bookshop.