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How do you tell your ex that you’re seeing someone?


Wonder if Jen told Ben about Marc before the tabloids did?
How, or even if, to tell your ex lover you are seeing someone new will depend on the relationship you have now that you are no longer a couple. Why tell your ex they’ve been replaced in your life if the two of you haven’t spoken since you ended your romance? If the two of you have maintained a close friendship or are likely to see each other out socially or at work, you might want to mention you are dating again and have met someone you like.

In the early stages, down play this new relationship. There is no point to rubbing his nose in your new found happiness, even if they dumped you and you think this is time for pay back, you’ll just end up looking like a vindictive bitch with vengeance on your mind.

Why do you feel the urge to tell your ex that you are in a new relationship? Personally I think it’s better to let them find out through mutual friends or when you run into them at a party. If you initiate contact just so you can pass on your good news, your motives might be questioned. ( I for one would be asking what was your pay off). It’s wiser to wait for the next natural opportunity you get to mention you have moved on.

Casually drop it into a conversation by saying something like ” I started dating again and I’ve met someone”. If they push for more information you might add, ” I’m having fun”. Steer away from getting into specifics or comparisons and don’t mention to your ex all the ways your new love is different or better than they are. Even if you are thinking how much more you are enjoying life with your latest squeeze and are tempted to seek some revenge, don’t bother. If you have truly moved on and are really happy in your new relationship you will be too content to seek revenge, even if your ex was the biggest love rat of all time.

By Michelle Lewis
Michelle has been one of Australia’s leading matchmakers and as a relationship expert is the founder of Date Doctors.
Her first book The Street Guide to Flirting is out now.

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