Focusing on what makes you feel good, even if it has nothing to do with relationships, is the fastest way to land you with your perfect match writes Christine Dominguez.

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If love came as easy as ordering your favourite meal at your local takeaway, then many of us still wouldn’t be on our quest to find ‘the one’. But what is ‘the one’? Is there such a thing? Or is it an idealised view we’ve been constructing for ourselves since we fist started watching Cinderella and other happily-ever-after stories?

Whatever your view is on your prospective partner, we all want someone who is suitable and compatible to us. And the fastest way to get him, according to authors Esther and Jerry Hicks in their new book The Vortex (Hay House, $26.95), is to focus on the things that consistently make you feel good, even if that focus has nothing to do with relationships. This is because when you are positive, when you have faith in the abundance of the universe –you attract all you desire, including the ideal relationship.

But when you worry, however, that you haven’t met that special someone or when you’re not even happy with yourself or how things are working in your life, this puts you further away from what you want. The key is not to stay in that feeling of lack.

But, the authors say, being in an unhappy situation is not all bad; it helps us fine-tune the traits we desire in a prospective partner. As the Hicks put it, ‘The more unpleasant things you experience, the more specific your desire becomes about what you would prefer instead.’ In other words, the annoying way someone forgets to show appreciation for our cooking spurs out the desire for someone who is more attentive to what we do, or the lack of affection one shows us makes us want someone who physically expresses their love more often.

So how do you get yourself from feeling fine to feeling fab?

Tips For Attracting The Relationship You Want:

• Make a list of all the positive things that are currently happening in your life

• Appreciate the good qualities you find in yourself and others and acknowledge it with either an affirmation or compliment

• Allow yourself to feel good every day—treat yourself to a facial, listen to your favourite songs, go for a walk in the sun, have a piece of chocolate—and savour the moment

• Look forward to where you want to be by creating a vision board of all the things you want to be, do and have

• If your moods, attitudes and emotions are feeling low, don’t dwell on it. Acknowledge the feeling and let it pass. Find things that you are passionate about and let yourself be absorbed in the activity, whether it be painting, dancing or yoga

The Vortex: Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships by Esther & Jerry Hicks (Hay House, RRP $26.95) is available in September at all leading retailers. Esther and Jerry Hicks’ Law of Attraction: Discovering the Power of the Vortex workshops will be held in the Gold Coast and Sydney December 2009. Visit www.hayhouse.com.au for more information.

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