Looking for a (NICE!) guy to snuggle by the fire with this winter? Take note of these tips from relationships author, Rosalind Neville, and you’ll be toasting marshmallows before you can say cheesy.

“I Like Men Attitude”

To begin to meet more men, you need to start with an “I Like Men Attitude”. There is nothing more of a turn-off to a guy than a sour faced girl who has a chip on her shoulder towards men (no doubt due to being hurt in the past).

Clear your mind of negative attitudes and approach new potential partners with a fresh outlook.

Be Courageous

Often women don’t have the courage to speak up with their man. They are worried they may appear petty or nitpicking. Often when they do speak up, it is at the wrong time, during an argument or when they have reached the end of their tether, instead of when the problems can be discussed rationally.

Don’t be afraid to articulate when you feel that you are being treated unfairly or below your worth. Men don’t know how we feel. They are very different creatures and certainly don’t feel the way we do. They are capable of making us feel wonderful, but can also make us feel very second rate at times too. Men generally don’t do this intentionally. If you let him get away with it once, you have set a precedent.

Remember, you set the standards in a relationship, not him, just by accepting what he dishes out and not voicing your feelings.

If you reflect on a rotten relationship you have had with a guy, you may notice that you accepted his treatment. Often, you will find that he will move on to another relationship and treat the next woman quite differently. Not because he has changed, but because she has had different standards. The reverse applies also. Have you ever said `He wouldn’t have got away with that with me’?

We should not plan to change a guy completely, but they all need a good overhaul. Unfortunately, too many women believe that they can dispense with their faults later. Later is too late: That is when the rot sets in. Unless you speak up from the beginning , you will not set the foundations for a mutually successful relationship. If you cannot get him to please you early in the relationship, you will not succeed later. Unfortunately, too many of us have the attitude that there will never be another like him.

Of course there will be another like him, because he is the type you choose. Have you noticed that men get better, never worse. The next guy you start dating is always far nicer than the one from whom you have just parted.

Let your achievements shine

Everyone has past achievements they are proud of but quite often we keep these hidden away in a cupboard! There is nothing wrong with letting a guy know how capable and clever you are. No one else is going to. It’s up to you to be able very subtly, to slip in gems from your past of which you are proud.

With your new attitude, increased confidence and self worth, you will attract far more interesting men. If you practice courage, and are not prepared to accept flaws that you previously accepted, you will also lift the standard of guys with whom you become involved. Good luck.

This is an edited extract from “Dial A Man” by Rosalind Neville.

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