How To Make Oral Sex A Tastier Affair (Literally)

You’ve got the power.

When we women reached our first sexual peak, we were so concerned about how our bodies looked from the outside that we completely disregarded our most significant sexual organ.

Now our fascination with vaginas, particularly in the sexual forum, pretty much revolves around this: we want them to look good, feel good and taste good.

And since most of us have the first two down pat, it’s time we delved further into the third. After all, if you care about someone enough to fuck them, you’d care enough to have them enjoy it, right?

The science

Yes, the rumors you’ve heard are right: just as what we eat has an impact on the way we smell, it also affects the way we taste.

When the body digests food, it carries it through the bloodstream to various glands and tissues, including the vaginal wall, where vaginal lubrication is created.

The answers

So since everything we eat can make or break the way we taste, should we just stop eating stinky foods? No, says psychiatrist and sex therapist Dr Barbara Bartlik, who explains it’s not as easy as that.

“Diet modifications may improve the taste and smell of your secretions, but you would probably have to give up some of your favorite foods – like garlic and red meat – and ingest unrealistic amounts of foods that may make you smell and taste better – like pineapple and vanilla – to see a positive result.”

No garlic or red meat?! Well, there goes everything my nonna taught me about life!

“Further, if a woman has a yeast problem (check your discharge to gauge if this is the case), it is important she reduces her sugar and alcohol consumption,” says Bartlik.

Studies have also shown the antibiotic properties of cinnamon can help treat yeast infections (which can throw off the balance of the vagina). Moral to this part of the story: better balance equals better taste.

Putting it into practice

Alcohol, garlic, asparagus, red meat, dairy and broccoli are in the no-go zone if you really want to supercharge your secretional taste, says Bartlik, but “citrusy fruits like pineapple can actually improve the way we taste and smell”. That’s because they help balance the pH balance of the acidic vagina, offering a fresh sweetness.

If you like pineapple, but aren’t sure you’d be able to cut out all of the other good stuff in order to get the really good stuff happening down there, don’t fret. Bartlik says personal hygiene can be even more critical to your taste downstairs than your diet.

“Cleanliness is important in making oral sex a comfortable experience for both partners. Cotton underwear that permits the area to breathe, or wearing no underwear at night, may be helpful in reducing sweat, as well as the odor-producing bacteria that thrive upon it.

But it shouldn’t just be us women worrying about this. If you know a guy who has, to use Sex and the City’s Samantha’s words, “the funkiest-tasting spunk”, here’s why and what he needs to do…

A note for the guys

Fact: though often used interchangeably in conversation, ‘semen’ and ‘sperm’ are not the same thing. Actually, semen contains only about one per cent of sperm; the remaining 99 per cent is full of proteins, vitamins, sugars, salts, cholesterol and water – that’s why what guys eat is So. Freaking. Important. when it comes to what they taste like.

As is the case with women, men will also benefit from including pineapple, cinnamon, cranberries and celery in their diet. It’s also a good idea for odor-conscious guys to stay away from dairy – not just because it will prevent them from being the topic of pity laughter for generations to come, but because a Harvard University study found eating too many high-fat dairy products can result in poor sperm quality.

If none of these work, there are a few appealing manmade products to help things along. Sweet Release is a herbal food supplement that promises to make semen taste like apple pie, and Masque Sexual Flavors are thin, dissolvable gel strips that add the taste of chocolate, strawberry, watermelon and mango to a tongue.

Images via tumblr.com, giphy.com and whatculture.com.

Comment: Have you tried any of these remedies? Let us know how you go!