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Madonna “an old hooker”

Sharon Osbourne has got a fair bit cross with Madonna, saying the 47-year-old looks like “an old hooker”. Apparently it bothers Sharon that Madonna constantly changes her image and her religion. She told Word magazine, “It’s like dressing up with her. One day you’re in f***ing gun gear, then you’re in horsing gear, then you dress like a f***ing dyke, then you dress like a hooker, then you’re in a flowery dress reading kids’ poetry looking like a f***ing librarian – then you’re back looking like an old hooker again. For f**k’s sake, who are you? At that age, you should know who you are, what bloody religion you are and what you represent.? Sharon is particularly unhappy with Madge?s country house image contrasting with her infamous Britney Spears kiss. “You can’t one day be in Horse And Hound and the next in Dyke Weekly.” Apparently not when Sharon Osbourne is about.

Gwyneth new Estee Lauder face
Liz Hurley has been ditched as the face of Estee Lauder Perfumes. Although the 40-year-old will remain the spokeswoman of the brand, the fragrance contact has been passed to none other than Gwyneth Paltrow. According to a spokesperson for the brand, Gwynnie has been chosen to help the brand “vamp up its image and make it more sexy.” As Liz has been the face of Estee Lauder since 1995, they realised it was time for a change. “Gwyneth is new and a bit more exciting,? they told reporters. Ooh ouch Liz!

Kevin Federline’s hip hop debut
Things have been hotting up in the Spears/Federline household. Daddy Kevin has been busy working on his new hip hop song, which has been leaked onto the internet. According to people in the know, it?s not particularly impressive, and with lyrics such as these, we?re not surprised. “Back then they called me K-Fed / But you can call me Daddy instead,” starts the track. “Go ahead and say whatcha wanna / I’m gonna sell about 2 mil, oh, then I’m a goner / I know you all wish you was in my position / Cause I keep getting’ in situations that you wish you was in, cousin / Steppin’ in this game and y’all ain’t got a clue / Getting anxious? Go take a peep / I’m starrin’ in your magazines now every day and week / But maybe baby you can wait and see / Until then all these Pavarottis followin’ me.” Meanwhile, his wife Britney has been trying to enjoy a bit of time without baby Sean, without much success. She recently visited the movies with a friend but proceeded to spend the duration of the film whispering to Kev and the baby?s nanny into her mobile phone. Eventually, fellow moviegoers hissed at her to ?shut up?, so halfway through the film, Brits walked out and returned to the bub. Seems like she?s taking a more hands-on mothering role than we thought.