Men Have No Idea How To Date Me Anymore

And it’s doing my head in.

Modern day dating is a battlefield where only the strongest get out alive.

And by strong, I mean those who show no emotions and play a strategic game in the name of finding love. Some would disagree, but as a single female who has been dating on and off for the past 10 years, I’ve seen a vast change when it comes to dating.

No one wants the commitment of a real relationship, rather the girlfriend experience with no strings attached.

Men aren’t the only ones to blame, as its seems we’ve all forgotten how to date. Flirting is now liking your Instagram photo and first base is sending a sultry Snaphat. The effort is minimal and it’s as easy to arrange a date as it is to order a pizza. Here are some of the most disconcerting changes I’ve noticed in my own dating endevours…

1. Dick pics are the new flowers

Dick pics are now the norm and chances are you’ll get one of these after your date to allude to things to come. If I had a dollar for every dick pic I received in my dating life, I could’ve bought myself a whole lotta bunches of roses by now.

2. Conversations are made up of emojis

Long gone are the days where I’d talk on the phone for hours or have a guy ring me up to ask me out on a date. These days I have to start group chats with my girlfriends to work out what he means by decoding a cryptic string of emojis.

3. Expect to split the bill

Splitting the bill straight down the middle makes it easy if you just never want to talk to the other person again and completely disappear aka begin ghosting them. A guy offering to pay for the first date used to be his way of saying he liked me, but these days I’m lucky if my offers to pay for coffee.

4. Relationships are easily disposable

Guys seem to have this idea of the perfect girl in their head. Have a quirk that doesn’t quite fit their criteria? They’ll ditch you like a used condom and move on to the next without a thought. I’m expected to have supermodel looks, be a pornstar in the bedroom and be totally cool with watching football while settling for last minute, half-assed attempts at dates.

5. The first person to show any emotion loses

The games we play to get the person we like have gotten a little out of hand. If I like a guy, I’m not even allowed to think about telling him or even letting him know that for fear he’ll run away. Showing any form of emotion towards someone will have them deeming you needy and blocking your number in the game of modern dating.

6. Don’t expect to be the only one they’re dating

It’s so easy to line up a date when you have access to so many people at the touch of your fingers. Think you’re exclusive? That’s a conversation you’ll need to have before you assume that. Not even sex signifies an exclusive relationship nowadays.

7. Sex upfront is an expectation

Waiting for sex is playing too hard to get. If my panties stay on longer than an hour on a date? He’ll deem me hard work and be teeing up another date whilst I’m in the bathroom.

Seriously, can we all just get some manners again and remember what our parents taught us? Treat people how you want to be treated. Because I’m over game-playing.

Images via tumblr.com and giphy.com.

Comment: Do you agree that modern dating has become a joke?