Not reaching the big O? Hey, you’re not alone! These tips will help you get there, and remember, practise makes perfect!
You’re holding your breath
This happens when you tense up, waiting to have an orgasm. But it can stop you coming. Concentrate on keeping your breathing slow and steady (that goes for when you’re having sex too).
You’re too dry
Masturbation is a contact sport, so lubrication is essential. Dip your finger inside yourself regularly while masturbating or use a water-based lubricant.
You’re not relaxed enough
You have to feel ‘safe’ to have an orgasm so find somewhere private and comfortable where you won’t be disturbed, and it’ll be easier to let go. Take the phone off the hook and draw the curtains.
You’re too relaxed
Bored, madam? You might be a drama queen who needs extra excitement. So … masturbate in the loos at work. Practise stealthy handiwork in the car or play with yourself in front of a mirror or window. Spice it up!
Your period’s due
Hormone levels affect your sex drive and ability to reach an orgasm. Oestrogen is the offender. On the first day of your period oestrogen begins to build up in your body. When it peaks (between day eleven and day eighteen of your cycle), an egg is released from one of your ovaries. You’re now at your most fertile, and cunningly, most lustful. Sex and masturbation would be good now. After day eighteen, oestrogen levels fall until, about two days before your period is due, you feel about as horny as eunuch.
Your mind is wandering
Use outside stimulus to focus your thoughts on sex. Women’s brains are aroused more by words than pictures (men’s are the opposite), so an erotic books like “My Secret Garden” or “Men In Love”, both by Nancy Friday should start a fire in your thong.
This is an edited extract from “The Good Orgasm Guide” by Kate Taylor (Simon & Schuster)