Dr Nikki Goldstein is one of Australia’s leading experts on relationships and knows how busy, stressful lives can affect us all. She shares her favourite ways for couples to reconnect and get that loving feeling back.

Quality versus quantity
Whatever you might be doing together, whether it is something sexual or something romantic, if you are pushed for time then make it count. It is better to be enjoying what you have together instead of focusing on what you don’t have. Don’t focus on the negatives or lack of time together otherwise you could start the negative spiral down.

Trying something new

I am not taking an overhaul of your love life but sometimes changing up your routine in and out of the bedroom can help keep the passion alive. We tend to get into a rut when we are doing the same actions over and over again. Breaking the pattern can help to keep things interesting and exciting.

Book in some alone time
This might be just alone time or sexy time but the key here is not to have any pressure during this time period. It is just time for you and your partner to be alone. If that leads into sex, so be it, but you don’t want either partner feeling pressured.


In current society we are all so busy but we can still make time for those things we want to do. Priorities time with your partner and see it as just as important as a meeting or deadline. How important is your relationship to you?

We don’t communicate enough in relationships. You need to be constantly checking in with your partner to see if their needs, desires or requests have shifted. Don’t try and assume, just talk about it in a positive but matter of fact way.

After a while in relationships we tend to not kiss as much as we first did. Kissing can release the same hormones as when we have sex that help us to bond and stay in love If you don’t have time for sex, keep kissing!


Instead of allowing technology to impact on your love life, use it to your advantage. Keep the passion alive during the day whether it be a email to say hi or a picture message.

Being grateful
One thing that tends to destroy relationships is when we take each other for granted. No one wants to feel that way and it is a real killer in the bedroom. Be grateful each day for your partner and the relationship you have with them. Focus on the positives instead of the negatives and be happy about what you do have not what you are missing out on.

The research was conducted by Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment to mark the DVD release of The Five-Year Engagement.