Show’s over chicks!

The Rivers duo
Do you watch those awards shows just for the frocks? And the bitchy comments on the red carpet?? If you are like us and luurrve all that frocking up biz before the shows, then you must know about the ?oddly addictive train wreck? that is Joan and her daughter, Melissa Rivers pre-awards red carpet coverage for E! Entertainment. According to published reports, the mother-daughter team is in negotiations to take their unique skill set to the TV Guide Channel, which is reportedly willing to pay them between US$6 million and US$8 million over three years to make glammed-up celebrities squirm. So much money for such little talent!

Hopefully not all her performances induce vomiting
Keira?s nauseating performance
Even the famous have days they’d rather forget ? Keira Knightly said she had a nightmare audition for her latest film, The Jacket. It wasn?t a even mere bad performance – after a bad bout of food poisoning, Keira said she spent the whole audition trying to stop herself from vomiting all over director John Maybury! And despite her efforts, John decided not to cast her in the film. ?I got food poisoning really, really badly. The whole time I was kind of thinking, ‘Okay, don’t puke over him, don’t puke over him! Please!’ Then he suddenly turns around to me and says, ‘Actually, I don’t want you in this film. I think you’re completely wrong for the role.? I was thinking, ‘My God! And I’ve tried not to puke over you the entire time!'” But fortunately, the director changed his mind and decided to cast her as the alcoholic waitress, alongside Adrien Brody. The film is due to be released next year.

Newly married Tori Spelling
Short bites
Tori Spelling and boyfriend Charlie Shanian wed on the weekend in a not-so-secret ceremony. The celebration was a 90210 reunion of sorts, with Jason Priestley, Jennie Garth, Ian Ziering and Tiffani Thiessen all attending. Notably missing were Shannen Doherty, Gabrielle Carteris vand Luke Perry, Carteris telling USA Today, ?I love Tori, but we don’t hang out.?…Salma Hayek is fulfilling a fantasy by starring with Pierce Brosnan in her latest film After the Sunset. She had a teenage crush on the Bond star, and the film has made her realise she still fancies him. We don?t think Salma will let her feelings run away with her ? she looked mighty happy with now fianc? Josh Lucas when they visited Tropfest in Sydney last February…Colin Farrell has reportedly agreed to play John Smith in the movie version of Pocahontas. Little known Q’Orianka Kilcher will play the lead role of the 14-year-old Native American, quite a coup considering her only role to date was a bit part in How the Grinch Stole Christmas.