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Two Plus One Equals Fun – how to make a threesome happen?

Talk first
Discuss the possibilities at a time when your hormones are not doing the talking for you. If it?s something you want, and you?re not sure your partner will be open to the idea, bring it up by asking something like: ?Honey, who would you love to have sex with if you could be with anyone other than me? It can be a celebrity, someone we know or someone you can imagine.? This way, it sounds hypothetical but can lead the way to some sexual revelations. If you find that these truths cause you discomfort, then you?re probably best advised to stick to one-on-one and avoid the threesome agenda altogether. If it excites you both to talk about it, continue talking until you reach the kind of communication that displays that you?re both keen to take it to the next level.

Finding the third person
The Internet is full of websites for the purpose of finding new sexual partners. Be careful to maintain your anonymity, at least until you meet and decide if the person deserves your trust. Don?t entertain expectations for sex on the first meeting. A cooling off period is essential so that you and your partner can discuss things like the level of attraction, your common instincts and your continued agreement that the threesome is what you both want.

If what you have in mind is asking a friend to join you in bed, think long and hard before you ask them. Consider whether a negative response might ruin the friendship. Ask yourselves if their discretion can be counted upon.

Hiring a professional for a few hours has its advantages and disadvantages. On one hand, the safe sex standards are usually faultless, plus they don?t need to know who you are or where you live, and once they?re paid, there is no obligation on anyone?s part to stay in touch. On the other hand, an escort provides a service, plain and simple. They don?t know you, therefore their compliments are gratuitous, and the whole experience can lack sincerity, leaving you feeling somewhat emotionally empty afterwards.

Sometimes the best sexual adventures happen spontaneously. Having a friend over for dinner and plenty of wine can lower inhibitions and before you know it, you?ve dragged out the cards and you?re playing strip poker. Three tipsy people tumbling into bed naked can be a lot of fun, but always be prepared in advance for such occasions. Condoms and lube in the bedside drawer, and consistently open communication with your partner are invaluable tools for a healthy sex life.

Of huge importance is that, whatever you decide, you and your partner choose together. No sexual experience is worth jeopardising your relationship so talk, ask and listen. At the very least, if a threesome never even happens, you have learnt more about each other just by contemplating it.

Gina Luca

* Gina is a freelance writer whose passion for talking to people on the Internet provides much inspiration for her writing.