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Two Plus One Equals Fun

What?s a threesome all about anyway? Is it about inviting a third person into bed to increase the excitement level all round? Or is it about ?more hands on deck?, enjoying being lavished upon by two people, instead of just your regular partner?

One thing it should never be about is begrudgingly granting a fantasy-come-true just to satisfy your partner, if it?s not something you?re comfortable with.

In this sexually enlightened New Millennium, couples are harking back to the ?free love seventies? where the swinging lifestyle was all the rage and sets of car keys were deposited into a fruit bowl to facilitate the spontaneous couplings for the night. But today, things are far more sophisticated. No more car keys and fruit bowls, now it?s about internet dating and swinger sites, upmarket escort services and a greater openness about our sex lives.

If you want to make a threesome happen, there are a few things to consider first:

1. Are you and your partner secure enough in your relationship for it to happen? Sometimes, fantasies sound brilliant when discussed during sex, but be aware that your partner might not be ok with seeing you with another man, or woman, in reality ? and vice versa.

2. Sexually transmitted diseases. There is never a time when unprotected sex is ok, outside of your committed relationship. Whether you choose to indulge in a threesome with a professional or someone you know intimately, condoms are not negotiable! Out of courtesy, all participants should behave in a sexually safe manner, not just the third party.

3. The venue. Sure, you may be more comfortable in your own bed in your own home, but consider the way you both may feel if the encounter doesn?t go well. You have to be mindful of security if the third person is not someone you trust, plus you should reserve your private space for just the two of you. Besides, you can customise the experience by choosing just the right venue. A cheap, nondescript motel can put everyone in the mood for totally dirty mischief, and you can even include some role play. Think pizza delivery guy, or housekeeping dropping off fresh towels. On the other hand, an elegant five star hotel can offer a classy environment and you can all relax, drink some champagne and ease into the experience slowly and with a sense of romance about the entire encounter.

4. Rules and respect. With everyone naked and vulnerable, it?s extremely important that each person respects the other two. The ground rules should be set before anyone removes a stitch of clothing. Is kissing ok? Is penetration ok? Should same sex interaction be encouraged or avoided?

Gina Luca

* Gina is a freelance writer whose passion for talking to people on the Internet provides much inspiration for her writing.

Next week: Threesomes continued – What happens when you get the third person involved?