Most women have no idea what their vaginas are capable of.
One of my all-time fave movies is The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert.
The drag queens, the outfits, the songs, the look at LGBT culture at a time when it was still largely stigmatized. It is still a movie my sister and I bond over; I quoted a scene from it in my maid of honor speech at her wedding, and recently when we took our gay mother on an ABBA tribute cruise for her 50th, we flaunted a perfectly choreographed routine to Mamma Mia (Mitzi and Felicia, eat your fabulous hearts out!).
One scene that always stumped me, though, was the one that showed Bob’s attention-seeking mail-order wife, Cynthia, popping ping-pong balls out of her vagina. (If you’ve somehow managed to make it this far in life without watching this eye-opening scene, school yourself below…)
All of the men in the bar LOVED it. I had to learn how to do it. But I’m not Asian, I thought – maybe only Asian women had that talent. (If you’ve ever been to a strip club in Thailand, you wouldn’t blame me for thinking this way.) But it turns out the real secret to achieving this superhuman feat, is by practising vaginal kung-fu, an exercise that’s guaranteed to strengthen your pelvic-floor muscles.
Before you close this page because you “already do kegel exercises” – STOP and read on…
What is it?
As sex and relationship coach Kim Anami explains, about 50 per cent of us are doing our kegels wrong, and even if we were doing it right, it would not give us the strength to open up this whole new world of vaginal fun. What we really need is resistance training, and kegel exercises do not offer this.
Kung-fu, hey? Does that your va-jay-jay will be pulling all sorts of ‘hi-ya’ moves and scaring off any man – or woman, for that matter – who wants to get near you? No. As Kim explains, kung-fu in itself is an intense study to develop mastery – in this case, of your vagina.
“Vaginal strength is highly, highly underrated in our [Western] culture. The art of vagina ping-pong-ball shooting, for example, is simply unheard of in these parts, yet in many South-East Asian countries it’s quite a popular sport.”
How do I do it?
“Think of your vagina like your bicep – you don’t work out your arms just by flexing your muscles; you need weights,” explains Kim. “The vagina works the same way – it needs weight to create resistance in order to build strength.”
A case in point is Tatyana Kozhevnikova, who holds the world record for the world’s strongest vagina; she is able to carry almost 31 pounds (14kg) with it. It all started after she had her first child and noticed things weren’t the same down there.
Kozhevnikova remembered reading about how, in the Daoist culture, women inserted a Jade egg into their vagina and tried to hold it in there using just their vaginal muscles, so she went for the next best thing in her home at the time: a glass ball, and got to training.
The focus of exercises like this, is on conditioning your vagina to be able to lift weights, and, therefore, create strength – but don’t think about attempting this on your own. Find an expert to guide you, at least in the beginning.
What are the benefits?
Vaginal kung-fu isn’t just good for popping ping-pong balls out of your hoohah and moving furniture or opening beer bottles with it (though those are certainly fun party tricks) – it can also increase your ability to orgasm, and limit incontinence issues.
“With a fully functioning vagina, your orgasmic potential increases tenfold,” explains Anami.
“You’ll have much more sensitivity and awareness, and your newfound vaginal strength will create more friction and more agility in the vagina, which means more and better orgasms.”
Video via youtube.com.
Comment: What’s the best thing your vagina can do?