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Valentine’s Day disasters!

“Last Valentine’s Day, my partner organised a romantic meal at home – seafood, wine, candles, the works. However, the oysters he bought replayed at 1am that night and he spewed all over the bed – while I was lying in it! Poor fella……”

“He melted chocolate on his penis and gave me strawberries to eat with it.. problem is he burnt his penis and lost the moment.”

“My last Valentine’s Day with my husband he bought a rice cooker and invited his friends over for dinner so I could try it out.”

“He forgot it was valentine’s day and organised a trip to fly his model aeroplane! I was lucky to watch, apparently.”

“My ex spent Valentine’s Day on internet talking to other women, I ate the entire jar of chocolate body paint I had bought for us.”

“He took me to his parent’s place to babysit his siblings while he went to dinner with his family.”

“The worst was when I arranged a restauraunt dinner, my ex was to meet me there. I was waiting for an hour when he call to tell me he couldn’t come because he was having dinner with his new girlfriend.”

“I worked in a florist and my boyfriend ordered flowers for me…..from my shop. I had to make up the bouquet myself!”

“He covered himself in cream and chocolate and stood at the front door but he got a fright when my mum was with me.”

“Oh my… my boyfriend bought me two fighting fish, which I love, and put them in a tank TOGETHER where they began to mutilate each other…”

“After receiving ‘appropriate’ Valentine’s treatment/gifts from me (wink wink), he proclaimed the new concrete patio floor was my gift! (Got the roof for Christmas!)”

“It was a picnic in the park… A possum nearly bit me, a bat pooed on my head and i was eaten alive by mosquitos, plus there is my allergy to grass…”

These were some of the answers from the Adult Shop Playful Passions competition. Tell us the least romantic Valentine’s Day your partner has ever organised for you and you could win a Playful Passions kit!