Valentine's Day, romance, love, couples, relationships, relationships advice,

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be all about love and romance right? So what if your partner chooses to ignore the intention of the day? Is it something to get upset or angry about? Or should couples automatically expect some token of romance from their partner on Valentine’s Day?

Now to answer these questions I suppose I should really take a look at what Valentine’s Day means to different people. For some people it is all about love, romance and passion. They expect to be wined, dinned and lavished in tokens of love.

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For others, it’s a day to appreciate their partner and say thank you for everything they mean to each other all year. They may exchange cards or a small token but the thoughts about the day are more important than cards and gifts.

To others Valentine’s Day is a religious celebration. They honour St Valentine and appreciate the love of God. To understand this you need to know a little bit about the history of Valentine’s Day which is one of the oldest religious traditions.

It was initially linked back to an ancient pagan fertility festival. These celebrations occurred before the rise of the ancient Romans and the rise of Christianity. During the end of the 5th century, the Pope declared February 14th St. Valentine’s Day in honour of their saints. Effectively they turned a Pagan festival into a Christian celebration. This tradition continued throughout the Middle Ages when people became enveloped in Christian beliefs. Most people were very poor and life focused around the church.

Valentine’s Day became more as we know it and gained popularity around the 17th century. Ever since it has evolved into a day of love and romance. The initial meaning behind the Pagan or Christian influence has been long forgotten by the masses.

With technological advancements of the 1900s and cheaper postage rates, mass production of Valentine’s day greeting cards began. This was when the commercialization of Valentine’s Day truly began. Via strategic marketing throughout many counties around the world, estimated spending on greeting cards and gifts are in the hundreds of billions. Plus the industry employs a massive population globally.

Why a I telling you this? Well some people associate Valentine’s Day with mass commercialisation. They refuse to be manipulated by corporate giants promoting love and romance for profit. To them Valentine’s Day is just another ploy to empty the pockets of the people. They’re tired of the growing pressure placed on couples to show their love through expensive gifts, dining at exclusive restaurants or booking a romantic weekend away.

For me Valentine’s Day has a very different focus. It’s not that I’m not a romantic either. February 14th is the day my first child was born. Giving birth on Valentine’s Day forever changed my perspective. After my divorce and meeting a new partner, they understood that unlike someone who place an emphasis on Valentine’s Day, it didn’t have the same meaning for me.

So to answer my initial questions; should couples automatically expect some token of romance from their partner on Valentine’s Day? Sorry as unromantic as it may sound the answer is no.

What if they choose to ignore the intention of the day? It’s clear that Valentine’s Day mean’s different things to different people. So if you have a partner you really need to understand their perspective and they should appreciate your expectations. Ask the question about what the day means to them. Ironically most of us don’t even know why we celebrate Valentine’s Day anyway.

Is it something to get upset or angry about? In all honesty if you love and cherish your partner everyday, why should this one day make any difference? Why not just make everyday your Valentine’s Day!

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