Weekend wit 10 Tips for the perfect wife

If men, in general, wrote up a list of things which resembled the perfect wife, it would probably look something like this, in no particular order – that’s male organisation at work, ladies. If it was a women’s list, well it would be structured in terms of priority (probably in a spreadsheet), but no need to go there.

Tip 1: Learn how to download

There’s not a man alive who doesn’t appreciate a woman who can download content off the internet, especially if it’s their favourite TV show or latest action flick. “Here’s the latest episode of Game of Thrones, hunny” – he’ll be so blown away and won’t even care that you’ve done so illegally and you’re now a “pirate”. Mmm, that might add to the attraction..?

Tip 2: Become a DYI queen

Men loathe having to fix stuff around the house, especially if they do it for a living. So, if you want the gutters cleaned, the lawn mowed, car washed, etc, then DYI ladies!

Tip 3: Encourage his hobbies

So, he’s heading toward 40 and suddenly has an urge to buy that motorbike he’s always wanted or maybe an expensive set of golf clubs to go hang out at the course with his mates. Instead of holding him hostage as you drag him shopping, encourage his hobbies (take out life insurance in the case of the motorbike) and get him out of the house. Now, a great wife would even pack his lunch.

Tip 4: Cook… Often!

That brings us to the next item on the list. It really is true that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. It might have something to do with their mothers, who cooked for them and made their favorite meal when they were little boys. Who knows, but feeding him will gain you valuable wife points.

Tip 5: Sex

BJ, HJ, S&M… Enough said. (Probably should have been first on the list, but it is in no particular order, remember!)

Tip 6: Look fabulous

It doesn’t matter if you have the flu, are heavily pregnant carrying his child or tired after a long day at work. Throw away the trackie pants and sloppy tops. You need to look like you’ve just stepped out of the beauty salon. This is especially true when his mates pop over, but be careful not to overdo it. He wants to show you off, not give his mates bait for them to go fishing.

Tip 7: Never say “we need to talk”

All men dread these four little words. They either think that they’ve done something wrong and they are in trouble or you need to talk, in which case they will need to look at least half-interested in whatever you have to say. Either way, there’s nothing in it for them so the perfect wife would never strings these four words together.

Tip 8: Praise him for little things

Men love praise. It doesn’t matter if the only housework he’s managed to do in the past six weeks has been the dishes – at least he did something! A little praise goes a long way. Once again, this probably goes back to their mothers and their childhood, but don’t dare mention that either.

Tip 9: Let him have control the TV remote

What is it with men and the TV remote? It’s a strange phenomenon, isn’t it? Ever wonder what men had hold of before TV was invented. Ok, lets not go there. Anyway, let him have it. If he thinks he’s got an inferred magic power wand. Seriously, what harm can it do? Just as long as he doesn’t aim it at you and press the mute button, it’s all good. (Hey, there’s not a man alive that hasn’t at least thought about it.)

Tip 10: Let him think he’s the boss

Speaking of power, we all know women really run the home. Imagine the state of things if the man was in charge? Two words: bachelor pad! They do like to think they run things, though, so do what good wives do best and don’t remind him about it. You know in your head what’s really going on.

Image via maryloudriedger2.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/the-perfect-wife.jpg