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Sex therapist and relationship counsellor Desiree Spierings, says mismatched sexual libido is the most common complaint she hears from couples, typically with the man wanting more sex than the woman. Her answer: “Foreplay away, all bloody day.”

She doesn’t mean foreplay that leads to sex either…


“For a woman, foreplay starts early morning in the kitchen doing the dishes, hours before sex. It is about making her feel good, caring for her, helping her out with the chores of the day and most of all making her feel desired all of the time.”


Desiree’s top tips for guys looking to put the zing back into their intimate relations:

* Make her breakfast in bed tomorrow morning

* Kiss her goodbye when you leave for work

* Send her a sexy text during the afternoon

* Tell her she looks gorgeous when you come home

* Help her doing the dishes after dinner

* Give her a foot massage on the couch



“After that, sparks will be flying because you are putting the intimacy back into the relationship. It’s about having fun and getting the sexual pleasure back into your life.” says Spierings.

So what do women really want? Is it the small things like doing the dishes or do we want more intimacy?

Spierings has joined adult online boutique www.whatwomenreallywant.com.au as a regular contributor. Founded by two women in their 40s, both wives, mothers and successful business owners, whatwomenreallywant.com.au is a huge departure from ‘typical’ adult stores that have many women feeling uncomfortable, taking the stigma away from shopping online at adult boutiques and combining quality products with an education edge.