By Jason Michael, author of The Trouble with Men – Understanding the Male Mind. Published by New Holland, RRP $24.95.
It’s been a hell of a hectic week for you. The weekend has come, the house is a mess, the kids are running amuck and you still have a zillion things to do. You’re close to passing out from exhaustion. As usual your man is lying back on the couch in front of the box, oblivious to your situation.
Perhaps he’s just plain lazy and can’t be bothered helping. Perhaps he thinks he has the right to avoid doing a good chunk of the household chores because he pays most of the bills. This is a common complaint for many women in two income households. It seems many men neglect the fact that their partner slaves away at work during the day, only to return home to slave away some more in the kitchen and laundry.
Men need to realise that times have changed. It’s a new era. Now that women are generally equal participants in the workforce, men need to assume more of the household tasks. The argument that he earns more and therefore can sit back, make a mess and expect you to clean it up should be right up there with pigs learning to fly.
If your man is a mess-a-holic and doesn’t pull his weight, it’s about time you took swift action. The responsibility of chores shared equally with your man is not unreasonable. Rather than feeling like a slave of the household, make a list of all the chores that need to be done. Sit down with him and divide them amicably through open discussion. If you don’t do this together, you might encounter some resentment and lack of action on his part when it comes to actually doing the set tasks.
Once the chores have been divided, make sure he carries out his end of the workload. If he slackens off, stand your ground without anger or nagging. Reinforce to him that these are part of his agreed household responsibilities that need to be maintained just as you have your very own to meet. It’s only fair that he accepts this. The whole idea is to have him understand that you’re a team and because you work it’s fair that he shares some of the workload at home. Men need to hear positive feedback so it’s always a good idea to compliment him on a job well done. This also acts as a useful motivational tool in getting him to stick to pulling his weight.
If all else fails and he chooses to remain a lazy slob, it may be necessary to take a tougher stand. Use a different strategy by refraining from doing his laundry or looking after him. It may sound harsh but sometimes desperate circumstances require desperate measures. Ensure that you stick to your guns until he learns to get off his backside and starts pulling his weight.
Does your partner help around at home? Give him a rating out of 10 here!