If you have dated online, you have probably received unsolicited dick pics. You start chatting on the site and eventually exchange numbers. You are texting from your phone and then BAM – the dick pic arrives. It is almost always unsolicited. Some women are delighted to get one. They are ruining it for the rest of us by not shutting this behavior down. Most women are totally flummoxed by opening a photo of an erection they didn’t ask for.

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The man has usually taken the photo in the storeroom of their office building or next to the toilet seat in their bathroom. The unsolicited dick pic might arrive in the first blush of your texts, or it comes when he isn’t getting your attention. Then BAM, dick pic. Some women have whole libraries of them. Where did men get the idea a picture of their erect penis (no one sends the flaccid photos) would excite a woman? What are they hoping to achieve? I went underground to infiltrate the male psyche on this one. In other words, I went on chat sites where men discuss why they do it. Here are some of the responses:

“Pride, kinda like how my toddler will sometimes bring me into the bathroom to show me a turd he made of significant size or interesting color. I’m confident he’ll grow out of this.”

They genuinely believe their erect penis makes a wonderful photograph and is a thrill for women to receive. The understanding is that a woman will get as much pleasure out of seeing his penis as he does.

“It has some non-zero probability of success. The is just an extension of some guys’ tactic of just whipping their dick out and seeing what happens.”

This dick pic arrives when a woman is definitely not interested. This is akin to the old school flashers, who have since disappeared . They are probably busy using the internet. Now that Instagram has direct messaging, some women receive thousands of unsolicited dick pics. The reaction the men are hoping for? Horror, anger, anything. They want a reaction and the comfort of knowing they are not alone in the universe. They saw my dick, therefore I am.

“They just get off on knowing that some stranger saw their dick.”

This is a shorter and better explanation of the above.

“We like to see vaginas. So in our warped minds we believe females like to see our dicks. We just haven’t realized yet that they aren’t attractive to you.”

Women like a dick to come with a whole person, not isolated in a photo frame. They like their dicks in context.

“We do it to piss you off.”

Some men send dick picks because it is about power. They know you don’t want to see it and they are forcing you to look. It’s hard to imagine women sending revenge pics of their vagina, since we know they will probably be enjoyed. At the very least, ignored. Shock and horror isn’t a typical response to a vagina pick, unless it was sent to a family member or colleague by accident. Women are not accustomed to seeing their vaginas as a symbol of power or humiliation or the last word.

Maybe in the future, when a woman gets rejected, it will be de rigueur to fire off a vagina shot. We’ll start sending them to our girl friends, because it’s funny. This world is somewhat hard to imagine. The way we see our genitals is so different, it is almost impossible to reverse the behavior. Which explains why some men think their dick pics will be titillating – they cannot imagine any other reaction. And why it’s hard for women to understand why men do it.

“Because somewhere out there is a woman desperate enough for the D that she’ll message me, tell me to come over, and will be waiting for me to bang her. This woman will be insane, but I don’t care.”

This is true. The dick pic sometimes works.

“Guys with enough self respect and status don’t do that shit.”

Plenty of men would never dream of sending a dick pic. Men come in all shapes and sizes. Just like their dicks.

Image via Jezebel