10 Uses for Your Ex’s Stuff

April 1, 2000

Get all your ex’s old things together and be creative!

  1. Use his favourite old t-shirt that he left in your drawers to polish your best pair of pumps to a glassy polish.
  2. Bring that framed picture of the two of you the next time you go out bar-hopping to remind you of the dire consequences of drinking and dating.
  3. Send back the pack of unused condoms he left at your place with a note that says, “Thanks, but I had to upgrade to a larger size”.
  4. Next time you run out of ribbon use his old ties and cut them up for colourful bows.
  5. Mail any embarrassing toiletries such as dandruff shampoo, cream or whatever to his new girlfriend.
  6. Break out his stash of fancy beer that’s been hogging your fridge space and cart it across the hall to a hot new neighbour.
  7. Use his golf clubs as stakes for your tomato plants.
  8. Not sure if your car stereo is still devouring tapes? Better test it out with that corny Favourite Love Songs he made you for your last birthday.
  9. Use his toe nail clippers to trim your bonsai tree.
  10. Bring any of his leftover sporting equipment you don’t want and donate it to the local sporting club.

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