For when you want to get buzzed, here are 13 cocktails bound to get you drunk, fast. Whether you’re having drinks at home or you’re out on the town with the girls, we all love a good cocktail (or five).
They taste delicious, look amazing, and are usually an accessory to armfuls of fun. They’re also pretty expensive. Unless it’s happy hour or you know a bar that does a killer two-for-one deal, cocktails can burn through your bank account fast, especially the fancy ones.
It’s even worse if you’ve just paid a hefty price for one, only to take a sip and discover it tastes like watered down cordial. I mean, the reason we drink cocktails is to have a good time and get drunk, right?
Well, we have you covered. These DIY cocktails aren’t only delish and easy to whip up, they also come with some pretty serious alcohol content. You’ll be thanking us tonight, but hating us in the morning. Warning: these cocktail recipes are guaranteed to lower inhibitions, which may lead to pashing random people or dancing like no one’s watching…
1. Long Island Iced Tea
A classic cocktail recipe, and for good reason, the Long Island Iced Tea combines five different spirits, sour mix and shockingly little cola. Speaking from experience, this cocktail will get you drunk faster than you can say “happy hour”—having a few too many of these can lead to a blackout, so please be careful.
This classic Italian cocktail has only one non-alcoholic ingredient; an orange peel for garnish (that counts toward your daily fruit intake, right?). Combining gin, Campari and sweet vermouth, this cocktail is seriously yummy and deceptively alcoholic.
3. The Aunt Roberta
If you’re wondering what cocktail gets you drunk fastest, The Aunt Roberta is your drink. This is considered to be the strongest cocktail in the world, so proceed at your own risk. The Aunt Roberta cocktail is made with 100 per cent alcohol, no mixers. Yikes!
4. Death In The Afternoon
This cocktail was invented by the author Ernest Hemingway. In his own words; “Pour one jigger absinthe into a champagne glass. Add iced champagne until it attains the proper opalescent milkiness. Drink three to five of these slowly.” (Or, you know, drink them to get buzzed quickly).
This New Orleans classic is one of the best-tasting but strongest cocktails out there. It is a mixture of absinthe, whiskey, sugar and bitters and is chilled for hours before drinking. Go steady on it…
6. Jungle Juice
The ultimate party cocktail that gets you drunk quickly but tastes good. Jungle Juice requires you to make it in a giant tub and is laced with no fewer than five different kinds of alcohol. The potent concoction is then topped with juice and fruit. This dangerous drink tastes so good and we hate to love it so much.
7. Black Russian
Essentially just a White Russian without the cream, this strong cocktail recipe mixes two of the best things: vodka and coffee liqueur. Drink this and expect to be pepped up and totally chilled TF out, all at once.
This drink needs a warning label: this is a high alcohol content cocktail with high sugar content and a high chance of drinking WAY too many. The Zombie mixes light and dark rum, brandy and juice to make a deliciously evil cocktail that will get you drunk fast.
9. Bone Dry Martini
A fast way to get buzzed, a martini really is just gin, vermouth and a few olives. The Bone Dry martini version requires you to remove the vermouth. It is also nicknamed “Pass The Bottle” because you could essentially just drink a bottle of gin.
10. The Hurl Hurl
Awh, this cocktail is so small and pink. And deadly. Almost completely alcohol, this can be served as a cocktail or a shot. When those two are interchangeable, you know the drink comes with a hefty kick. (Recipe here).
11. The Corpse Reviver #2
Any drink with the word “corpse” in it is bound to be super boozy. Created in the 1930s, this cocktail is so strong it could bring someone back to life, but there was a warning created to go with it; “Four of these taken in swift succession will unrevive the corpse again.” Sounds like a fair warning.
12. Caribou Lou
The creation of this cocktail is attributed to the rapper Tech N9ne, who describes the drink in his song and claims it will make you “numb”. It is delicious and fruity, but the addition of 151 rum, which is notoriously strong, is what makes this cocktail one of the best tasting drinks that get you drunk
13. The AMF (Adios Motherfucker)
This one has all the big names in alcohol; rum, vodka, gin and tequila. Its name is a warning. If you have too many of these, you might as well say adios to your memories.
Kassi is SHESAID's Global Editor, a passionate and opinionated tea-drinker and cat-lover. She's always sleepy, loves politics and lives for writing about social issues. Follow Kassi on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.