13 Guys Explain Why They Send Dick Pics

July 5, 2016
Why guys send dick pics

The ultimate #sleazefactor.

I’ve never really understood the concept of the dick pic.

I’m sure most women would agree that, even though they provide pleasure that can send you into another realm, penises are in no way attractive. So being face to, er, eyeball with one on a phone is in no way a turn-on. And besides, there are so many pretty vibrators out there right now that are better than the real thing.

According to a recent study by online dating site Match, sexual photos from guys are the biggest turnoff for women. There are so many reasons not to send a dick pic – so why do they insist on thrusting them upon us? It’s like they just don’t know how to date anymore; they want the end goal without having to woo us.

Most guys I interviewed for this piece either denied doing it (because they know how I feel about it) or simply said “Because it’s funny”. Um, no. I wasn’t going to be satisfied with such a lame excuse – and neither should you.

Here, 13 of the more intellectual reasons why guys send dick pics…

Sleaze #1

“Because I want them to send me a pic of their tits.” Marco, 29, builder

Sleaze #2

“Because I’m proud of it.” Hayden, 30, Uber driver

Sleaze #3

“It gets chicks all wet and ready to go.” Jarryd, 26, sheet-metal worker

Sleaze #4

“I do it [on Tinder] to see if she scares easily. I like sex and I want to find someone who likes it at least just as much.” Thomas, 32, journalist

Sleaze #5

“Why else would we be on Grindr? We all want to fuck. I considered putting mine as my profile picture but look at me – I’m fabulous!” Jack, 28, shop assistant

Sleaze #6

“It makes me feel good.” Hunter, 28, acting student

Sleaze #7

“It’s the one thing we can guarantee a woman wants. I won’t send a chest pic – what if she doesn’t like men with a hairy beer gut [laughs]?” Eamon, 33, teacher

Sleaze #8

“I do it when I’m bored. But only to my mates. It freaks their girlfriends out [laughs].” Josh, 26, carpenter

Sleaze #9

“At the right angle, it can look huge!” Jacob, 27, insurance consultant

Sleaze #10

“In the gay community it’s the norm. I’m surprised this even warrants a story, babe.” Liam, 31, home-care worker

Sleaze #11

“I want to show her how hard she makes me. It’s a massive compliment.” Noah, 34, teacher

Sleaze #12

“I’d be heaps happy if some girl sent me a sexy photo! So I’m trying to make women happy too.” Ben, 26, real-estate agent

Sleaze #13

“I like finding self-obsessed people – guys and girls – on Snapchat and just randomly sending them a photo of my junk [laughs]! That’ll give them something else to think about for eight seconds.” Rick, 33, lawyer

Before I left things as they were with the straight men, I asked if any of the women they sent dick pics to had asked for it. All of them said no. Huh, funny that…

GIFs via giphy.com.

Comment: How do you feel about dick pics?

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