13 Reasons Dick Pics Need To Stop. IMMEDIATELY.
An unsolicited pic of your penis on our phone = instant fail.
Fellas, opening a text message to an erect penis and a set of hairy balls is not something every girl grows up dreaming of one day experiencing. Just because the conversation has reached an intellectual level on Tinder, does not mean we fantasise about your junk.
Yes, we may have imagined you grinding up on us somewhere along the line, however that mental image did not include you shoving your genitalia in our face. For the record, here are 13 other reasons you should quit clogging our inboxes with unsolicited pics of your bits.
1. If we wanted a dick pick, we’d ask for a dick pick. No ifs or buts about it.
4. Technically, it’s digital rape. We did not consent to a text message containing your loins. Put it away. Now.
5. FYI: Women are wooed intellectually, not visually. All pictures of your penis do are erase any hope you ever had of getting to third base with us.
6. Your chances of getting lucky aren’t going to increase as a result of your penis popping up on our smartphone without warning. Nothing says ‘buzz-kill’ more than a hairy peen no one asked to see.
7. We don’t need to actually see how hard we made you over a few dirty text messages. Some things are better left to the imagination.
8. Dick pics do not turn us on. At all. If anything, they cause our vaginas to tighten in fear.
9. We see your dick pic as a reflection of your ego, not your masculinity. So if you’re looking to be ‘unmatched’, you’ve just totally gone the wrong way about it.
10. Contrary to popular male belief, it’s not common courtesy to send one back. If you want to see us naked, you’re going to have to work a little harder than that.
Images via Cosmopolitan, cake-in-a-cup.blogspot.com, Daily Mail, Mirror UK, Dumpaday.com, Wikipedia, You Tube, Pinterest