14 Kinky Stocking Stuffers For A Very Sexy Christmas Time

December 17, 2017

Have yourself a very adult Christmas.

If you were like most kids, chances are you spent a significant portion of your childhood trying to do whatever you thought it took to make it onto Santa’s ‘nice’ list; albeit last-ditch efforts right before it was time to sit on his knee and hit him with your wish list. (Who else asked for one of those baby dolls that poops its own diaper?)

But as an adult at Christmas, well, things are very different indeed. Getting onto the ‘naughty’ list isn’t so much discouraged as it is rewarded, provided it’s in the right context…if you catch our drift… *raises eyebrows suggestively*

In fact, embracing your inner naughty girl at Christmas can have plenty of benefits, both for your personal wellbeing, and your love life. And who wants to give their partner or best friend the same boring bottle of wine again, anyway?

This year, take note from our fave sexy finds and stuff their stocking with something they’ll really enjoy… (pun very much intended.)

1. Porn For Women 

A hilariously erotic book filled with pics of hot, shirtless men fulfilling every woman’s greatest fantasies; men cooking, listening, asking for directions and c leaning, accompanied by steamy captions, like: “She walked through the front door and stopped dead in her tracks, overcome with desire. There he was – shirtless, his muscles flexing as he vacuumed the carpet…and she hadn’t even asked him to…” 

Buy it here.

2. The Womanizer 2Go

With its innovative ‘pleasure air technology’ (think soft pressure airwaves gently sucking your clitoris), The Womanizer was one of the most-sold solo-play sex toys for women this year, boasting the ability to make anyone climax in just four minutes or less (and yes, it works). So this purse-sized hybrid is sure to be the next big thing. So discreet, no one will be any the wiser when it falls out of your handbag, and it delivers the same OH. EM. GEE. fast orgasms we’ve come to know and love from its predecessor. Get one for all your gal pals and be the new fave friend.

Buy it here.

3. Sexy Truth Or Dare Pick-A-Stick

Need to inject a little spice back into date night? How about a very adult game of ‘Truth or Dare’? Simply whip out one of the naughty sticks and read aloud to your partner to let the fun begin. With dares like, ‘Try to take off one item of my clothing – your choice – without using your hands’, it’s sure to be a date night to remember…

Buy it here.

4. Adore Me ‘Kaye’ Plunge Teddy 

This sexy little bodysuit also comes with a plus-size option. and is the perfect item to screenshot and send to your significant other to drop a not-so-subtle hint that this Christmas, he should get you a gift that will keep on giving, to both of you…

Buy it here.

5. Sensuva Natural Arousal Oil For Her

Whether you struggle to climax, or simply want to take your orgasm to the next level, this all-natural blend of erotic essential oils has you covered. Simply add one to two drops to your clitoris and wait up to two minutes to garner the stimulating benefits of the full effect. Prepare for this to become your new bedside go-to item.

Buy it here.

6. The BlowYo

For far too long, solo sex toys have been largely designed for women (not that we’re complaining about the awesome selection). But this Christmas, you needn’t be the only one to get on the solo fun bandwagon. The BlowYo is designed just for him; a unique textured stroker with two rings at the ends of a stretchy sleeve, it will make his manhood feel like it’s inside a real mouth. What guy wouldn’t want to find this under his tree this year?!

Buy it here.

7. Sex Checks

For a more lighthearted, softcore erotic gift, why not give your partner some guaranteed time between the sheets? Eith fill-in-the-blanks and check-box prompts, this cheeky checkbook includes 30 IOUs and 30 UOMEs, making it easy for you to get back what you, *ahem*, give.

Buy them here.

8. Lelo Massage Candle in Vanilla and Creme de Cacao 

What’s more sensual and romantic than a glowing scented candle illuminating the room while you get down to (sexy) business? A scented candle that doubles as a luxurious massage oil, that’s what. Melt this baby down then gently pour the oil on your lover’s back for a warming massage that can lead to whatever you’d both like it to lead to…

Buy it here.

9. Mushroom Lipsticks

While officially called “mushroom” shaped, these lipsticks aren’t fooling anyone with what they really are. Jokes aside, the reviews for these 12 lipsticks are actually pretty positive, claiming they have a bold matte finish which is long-lasting. And popping one out for a touch-up while out to dinner with your SO could give him a very naughty hint of what’s to come for dessert…

Buy them here.

10.We-Vibe Unite Clitoral and G-Spot Vibrator

It’s remote controled, it’s USB rechargable, it syncs with your phone, oh, and it’s been voted one of the best couples sex toys since its launch. Seriously, if you want to give yourself and your partner the gift of better sex this year, grab this addictively good multi-use vibe. Say hello to spine-tingling, whole-body orgasms this Christmas.

Buy it here.

11. A Year Of Sex card game

Card games can be tedious. But sex card games? Now that we can get on board with. With 52 different sex position cards spanning over five levels of difficulty, and three different ways to play this feelgood game, you’ll want to pack it to take with you on Christmas vacation.

Buy it here.

12. Je Joux Fifi Rabbit Vibrator

There’s a reason the Rabbit vibrator design has consistently been a best-seller: it hits aaall the right spots. And this sleek, modernized version takes that pleasure to the next level, with five vibration settings and seven pulsation patterns from each ear and the shaft, the soft, contoured design offers simultaneous G-spot and clitoral stimulation. Prepare to start enjoying alone time a whole lot more.

Buy it here.

13. Monogamy board game

Spice up your love life with this couple’s board game filled with exciting and occasionally hilarious challenges that’ll bring you and your SO closer than ever before. Just dim the lights, roll the dice, and let the games begin…

Buy it here.

14. K-Y Yours + Mine Couples Lubricants

This lubricant duo pack promises a warming sensation for him and a tingling sensation for you. Or, get really adventurous and combine the two for a feelgood experience that’s hard to beat. Simply apply a couple of drops of ‘Yours’ (the blue bottle) to him, and then join the fun by applying an equal amount of ‘Mine’ (the purple bottle) to yourself.

Buy it here.

Featured image photography by Ashim Joshi.

Comment: What’s the cheekiest Christmas gift anyone’s ever gotten you?

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