Baby, you turn my floppy disk into a hard drive.
I’ll never forget the night a guy approached me in a bar and confidently announced, “That dress looks great on you.”
Unfortunately, before I had a chance to be flattered, his comment was quickly followed up with, “It’d look even better on my floor. Wanna screw?”
It’s an unfortunate fact of modern dating that if you haven’t already been hit up with a positively cringe-worthy pick-up line, you’re likely to encounter one in the very near future. Just hope you’re never dealt one of these real-life doozies, courtesy of the confessions of some very ballsy Reddit users…
1. The doctor
“Are you my appendix? I don’t know what you do or how you work but I feel like I should take you out.”
2. The antique enthusiast
“Are you an antiquer? Cause I have some junk that hasn’t been touched in years.”
3. The family man
“Are you an orphanage? Because I want to give you kids.”
4. The florist
“If you were a flower, you’d be a DAMNdelion!”
5. The French man
“Are you French? Cause Madamn.”
6. The carb lover
“Is your daddy a baker? Cause you got a nice set of buns.”
7. The milk drinker
“I see you’re drinking one per cent, Is that ’cause you think you’re fat? ‘Cause you’re not. You could be drinking whole if you really wanted to.”
8. The legs man
“Nice legs…Shame about the face.”
9. The cynic
“I can’t wait to disappoint you sexually.”
10. The sleeper
“I’m tired. You’re tired. Let’s sleep together.”
11. The underachiever
12. The team player
“Did you girls come together? No? Did you want to?
13. The loser
“I lost my number. Can I have yours?”
14. The sweet tooth
“If you were a bee, could I be your honey?”
15. The concerned citizen
“Oops, sorry for bumping into you there. Do you have insurance? I think we need to swap numbers.”
16. The tactless one
“Nice shoes. Wanna f*ck?”
17. The quietly confident one
“Grab your coat. ‘Cause you’ve just picked up.”
Comment: What’s the worst pick-up line you’ve ever been served?
Images via warosu.org, huntertrek.com and amesfarm.com.
SHESAID's own Carrie Bradshaw, Arie is all about love, sex and crazy #lifegoals. Though she currently lives in Sydney, she feels most at home in New York City – and will sleep with whoever she needs to to get there. Follow Arie on Twitter.