We don’t actually care what you think of us.
I’ve written before about deciding to get divorced, and how I knew it was the right decision for me. And I’ve never regretted splitting up with my husband. But there was one thing I didn’t quite think through when I was making that decision: the fact that getting a divorce would mean I’d be a single mom.
To tell you the truth, I’ve never really felt like a single parent. I have so many amazing friends and family members helping me out all the time; life is honestly sometimes easier than it was when I was married. And besides, I’ve never let motherhood define me. But almost five years after my divorce, I can’t really deny the reality that I am a single mother.
So, speaking for single mothers everywhere, here are a few things we all wish people understood about us…
1. We have better things to do than worry about what you think of us.
2. A divorce is usually a relief, not a tragedy.
3. We don’t want your pity.
4. We aren’t screwing our kids up by raising them alone.
5. We don’t have a lot of patience for small talk.
6. We don’t need you judging us.
7. Our sick sense of humor is all that keeps us going sometimes.
8. But other times, we’re totally not kidding around.
9. We can have some really bad days – just like anyone else.
10. Our lives do not even remotely resemble an episode of Gilmore Girls.
11. Sometimes we feel sorry for our coupled-up friends.
12. Being a single mom doesn’t define us.
13. Sometimes our lives are so filled with drama, we can’t believe it either.
14. Unless we specifically ask for it, we really, really don’t want your advice.
15. You don’t know anything about what kind of mothers we are.
16. We feel like we have to do it all; if we don’t do something, it won’t get done.
17. We love our kids – and our lives – exactly the way they are. (Except when we don’t.)
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Comment: Are you a single mom? What do you wish people understood about your life?