18 Things Only People Who Attend Lots Of Weddings Will Understand

If it’s a cash bar, count us out.
There comes a time in every woman’s life when all of her friends seem to be tying the knot.
Hardly a week goes by without a letterpress heavyweight cardstock envelope hitting your mailbox, and your bank account is constantly in a state of depletion from buying excruciatingly overpriced registry gifts and pitching in for bachelorette parties. And while we love our friends and are (mostly) happy for them, attending wedding after wedding can get a little tiresome – especially if you’re of the opinion that weddings, in general, are gross and fake.
So if you’re in that season of life where you’re perpetually attending these milestone events, here are 18 things that will be all too familiar to you…
1. Spending more money on dresses to wear to friends’ nuptials than you’re likely to spend on your own wedding dress.
2. Evaluating the value of your friendship according to whether or not you were given a plus-one.
3. Always playing the game of ‘who wore it best’ in your mind.
4. Picking a present off the registry based exclusively off of how easy it is to wrap.
5. Getting emotional when you see the bride, no matter how hideous her dress is.
6. The importance of wearing waterproof mascara and carrying tissues in your bag.
7. Knowing there’s no way you’ll make it through the wedding without a drink, no matter how much you love the bride and groom.
8. The blessing and the curse of an open bar.
9. Only being in it for the food. (So it better be good.)
10. Trying to get your friends to understand your dietary restrictions without pissing them off.
11. That moment when you’re seated next to someone you know you’re supposed to know…
12. The joy of watching people’s parents dancing – especially after a few drinks.
13. The feeling of dread when people start giving toasts after having one too many.
14. That awkward moment when one of your fellow guests starts to get unruly.
15. Secretly believing that your friends are too good for the people they’re marrying.
16. How hard it is to keep your mouth shut when you think your friend is making a terrible mistake.
17. The struggle to put aside your cynicism about marriage and how much it sucks, and just have a good time.
18. And the awesome feeling you get when you see your BFF completely happy.
GIFs via giphy.com
Comment: What are your most loved and hated parts of attending weddings?
Elizabeth lives in Brooklyn with two daughters, occasional mice and innumerable to-do lists. She runs a nine-minute mile, bakes a mean chocolate chip cookie, and can always be persuaded to sing at a karaoke bar. Follow her on Twitter.