And we’re not talking about sleeping.
There’s no greater mystery than the human body. Whether physically or emotionally, there is always something our bodies do that takes us completely by surprise, be it a spontaneous crying fit or sudden inexplicable fatigue.
And no area is fraught with more intrigue than our sexual side. Not only do we have to try and figure out what gets our partner’s fire burning, we also have to understand our own body’s sweet spots before we have any chance of having a great time in the sack. This, frustratingly, as I’m sure many women will agree, is easier said than done.
Fortunately, there are a few simple tips and tricks you can employ to make sex go from groan to moan in no time. And according to sex therapist Pamela Supple, they don’t involve turning yourself into a gymnast to reenact every page of the Kama Sutra. Here are 18 entirely uncomplicated ways to become an outstanding lay…
1. Use your body (language)
“Don’t just lie there; move. You’ll enjoy it all the more. People pick up on body language. If you aren’t contributing with the body, or flinching and pulling away, your partner will sense it,” says Supple.
2. Don’t skimp on the foreplay
“Foreplay is a must, especially for women, who need a little more physical preparation than men. However, if it hurts in any way, you must say so.”
3. Let your lips do the talking
“You can’t beat it oral sex. Give or receive; either way the feeling is amazing,” says Supple.
“Ask your partner what they like, get feedback, and the experience will get better and better.”
4. Make eyes
“It can be uncomfortable sometimes, but eye contact is a must. It needn’t be used all the time, every time, but eye contact can be very sexy, hot, and seductive.”
5. Be patient
“Vaginal intercourse won’t always get you to orgasm, hence the importance of foreplay and oral sex, so take your time before moving on to penetration.”
6. Know your G-spot
“Sex toys are ideal for G-spot stimulation,” advises Supple.
“They are ergonomically designed, which is why they make your body produce such amazing sensations. You can also use the ‘come hither’ finger technique, if you don’t have any toys.”
7. Kiss. A lot.
“Kissing is essential, especially when seducing. You’ve got to be a great kisser, especially as the lips are one of the most erogenous zones on your body.”
“You have to communicate, otherwise how do you know what each other likes? When you’re in the middle of sex, it can be a bit hard sometimes, but sounds of sexual enjoyment are always good for this,” recommends Supple.
9. Don’t stick to the bedroom
“Sex can happen wherever, whenever, and however. Just make sure you are both safe and are both willing.”
10. Have some quiet time
“Being quiet can be as sexy as moaning loudly. Some people are silent naturally; if you’re a quiet lover, well, that’s the way you are. Go with it!” says Supple.
11. Exploit the quickee
“Not every time has to be a lengthy making love session. Quickees are good for both of you if you’re in a hurry, or even because you want to focus on your partner, or vice versa.”
12. Get loud
“Noises are a natural part of sex,” assures Supple.
“Whether bodily function noises, verbal oohing and aahing, or laughter, just let go and enjoy!”
13. Mix it up
“Yes, mix it up! If you have an urge, run with it. Specifics probably won’t come into it, which can be half the fun. It’s always great to be spontaneous.”
14. Take the pressure down
“Sometimes orgasm just won’t happen, and that’s okay. You may be just tired, not concentrating, your mind may be wandering, or you might be happy to be close and enjoy a good lay. Getting anxious hinders your orgasm further, so take the pressure off.”
15. Relax, just do it
“Tension and self-consciousness can hold you back from exploration and fun, so give yourself permission to relax,” advises Supple.
16. Be yourself (but also let your inner freak out)
“Definitely stay true to your natural sexual being. However, if you want to play, and become another aspect of yourself sexually, great! Why not?”
17. Don’t have sex as a courtesy
“Sex isn’t about reciprocity. If you’re only putting out to get something back, you might want to have a look at your relationship, both emotionally and sexually.”
18. Talk dirty
“Big yes to talking during sex. If you think it’s kinky and will turn you both on, just say it! But it has to be sexual. Don’t talk about the kids, shopping, work, and so on. That’s a bit of a turn off, and takes you right out of the moment.”
Images via giphy.com and tumblr.com.