19 Thoughts Every Girl Who’s Basically A Grandma Has Had
Is it bed time yet?
Something baffling happens when you hit your late twenties.
Hangovers start to last longer, staying out till midnight without falling asleep face-first in your fishbowl margarita is no longer viable and nights in curled up under a blanket drinking tea begin to become inexplicably arousing.
If you’ve reached that point in your twenties where you’ve basically ridden yourself off as a grandma, you’ll know this internal monologue well…
1. It’s Friday! Woohoo! Texting the girls to plan drinks after work.
2. It’s 3pm and I’m basically dead. Please, dear God, please let someone text to cancel.
3. THANK GOD! Sarah’s got a cold! I mean, oh, poor Sarah, how awful, I was really looking forward to squeezing these aching feet into heels and drinking overpriced cocktails in that noisy bar with her till 1am…
4. Home time! Already have my night all planned out: bath, onesie, blanket, Netflix, then bed.
5. Yasssss! This is going to be SO FREAKIN’ GOOD.
6. Wait. Did I actually just get excited over sitting on the couch tonight?
7. Yep, I think I did. What’s wrong with me? Why am I so tiiiired?!! I’m supposed to be in the prime of my life!
8. The work crew are already posting pics from that cool new bar. It looks really good…maybe I should go…
9. Nope, just thinking about that for a second actually took every remaining cell of energy I had left in my body. Netflix and tea it is!
10. First things first: bra and shoes off.
11. Dear Jesus that feels good!
12. Slippers and sweats on. Ahhhh… life is GOOD.
13. Now for the really big questions: what tea shall I have tonight? Screw it, I’ll go all out and have the fancy choc chip one I’ve been saving for a spesh occasion.
11. I just realized what would make this night complete: choc chip cookies. Oooh! I’m going to use the new cookie tray I just got to bake them in.
12. *Smugly* I am so grown up.
13. Seeing as though I’m spending tonight in, I’ll go all out tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow will be a big day…
14. I’m thinking….organize the linen closet first, clean out the fridge second, then go to Ikea and get that draw organizer I’ve been eyeing off.
15. Wait. I don’t have anywhere to be! That’s it, I’m taking a nap. Right. Now.
16. That may have just been the most orgasmic experience of my life next to watching Magic Mike in slo-mo.
17. Think I’ll eat those cookies and catch up on some critical Netflix viewing now.
18. I’M SO COMFORTABLE. THIS IS HEAVEN.
19. Aaaaaaand it’s 10pm. Time for bed. Yep, so glad I cancelled those drinks.
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Comment: Can you relate to feeling like a grandma in your twenties?