23 Emotional Stages Of Shopping At Sephora

March 2, 2016

Do I need this $40 contouring kit, or do I NEED it?

When I tell my husband I need to drop in to Sephora to top up on my foundation, he completely freaks out.

I have actually seen him throw himself through a storefront window just to escape the rabbit hole that is that store. Every time I’ve dragged taken him in there, it’s been the ultimate test of our marriage. Once he actually tried filing for divorce on his phone in order to escape enduring one more minute of me swatching 77 different pink lipsticks (no, that number is not an exaggeration).

It’s fair to say that for most couples, Sephora is a strange mix of both heaven and hell. And much like the afterlife, there’s no sense of time or place (ever noticed the distinct lack of clocks?), it’s shockingly bright (seriously, how many fluorescent bulbs can they fit into one store?) and once you enter, you can never go back. Which is why a trip to Sephora is a trip like nothing else, and one that usually goes a little like this…

1. Okay, I just need one specific item I’m running low on, then I’m out of here. Woman on a mission, here I come!

2. Wait. Where’d they move the makeup stand with my foundation in it?

3. Is it unusually bright in here? I seem to have suddenly lost all sense of orientation. Where am I??

4. Okay, just have to walk a little further into the store than I planned and past these Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Kits…

5. I can do this…stay focused, stay focused…DON’T LOOK INTO THE LIGHT!

6. Oh God, it’s so beautiful…

7. Holy crap on a cracker. This eyeshadow collection is the stuff of my DREAMS.

8. Aaaand buying it!

9. Oooh! I love the cute packaging on this!

10. Okay, now THIS is my shade of lipstick. Not trying it on would be sacrilege.

11. Okay I don’t even know what this is but I have to have it.

12. Dear God, an entire stand of eyeshadow. Which do I swatch first?!!

13. Now do I need this $30 pomegranate scented cleanser, or do I NEED it?

14. Silly question.

15. Now to proceed to checkout. Ooh! But not before I grab this super cute mini nail polish set.

16. *Gulp* This is going to come to the cost of my first home deposit.

17. But totally worth it. I mean, think of all the VIB points I’ll get to score free samples. Well, ‘free’ in the sense they cost me a small fortune.

18. Wait, what did the cashier just say? Was that the actual price?? HOLY SHITBALLS.

19. Should I put something back? What can I put back? WHAT DO I PUT BACK?!!

20. This would be easier if it were Sophie’s Choice. I can’t part with any of this stuff because I need it like Kim K needs selfies to live.

21. To hell with it, I’ll just live on water for the next week. It’s totally doable, I saw some guy do it on the Discovery channel and he lost a ton of weight.

22. I did it! I made it out! I may be bankrupt but I’m out, I’m finally out! Wait – was it night when I went in?

23. Crap. I still don’t actually have the bottle of foundation I came here for.

Images via giphy.com and tumblr.com.

Comment: Are you guilty of spending way too much money when you visit Sephora?


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