You’re not in Kansas anymore.
Turning 30 is a funny thing.
While it makes some of us feel more settled, it can set others off into a fully blown third-life crisis. And while we all have friends who were acting 30 long before they hit 25, most of us only really start to feel different come our late twenties when events that once seemed fun start to appear tiresome, and we find ourselves happily trading spontaneity for reliability.
You may not have even hit the big 3-0 yet, or, if you’re lucky enough, you may be midway through your 30s and blissfully unaware, but if you can relate to the following 27 things, chances are, as far as your brain is concerned, your 20s are definitely over…
1. Friday night FOMO has departed and you’re happy to stay in…
2. This means you have gone to the dark side, and now need to schedule nights with friends.
3. You start to look forward to getting ready for bed after dinner. And you use night cream.
4. You can watch home makeover shows without breaking into a cold sweat.
5. You take pride in emptying your work inbox before you leave the office and wait to check Facebook until you get home.
6. You no longer feel the need to constantly fill silences with chatter, and value friends you can hang with who get this.
7. It makes your day when you don’t get asked for ID when buying wine.
8. You own a cook book…and you even make things from it.
9. You find yourself doing horrified double takes at teenagers walking down the street flashing too much midriff.
10. You’ve accepted that your student loan isn’t going to go away and have even started chipping away to pay it off.
11. Your hangovers aren’t just a foggy head first thing in the morning anymore. Now they last all day…
12. You no longer buy the cheapest possible cask wine with a view to get hammered, instead enjoying savouring a good glass of red with dinner.
13. You’ve started shopping for work dresses on a regular basis.
14. You own a coffee machine or some form of coffee-making paraphernalia and like a coffee in the morning ‘to get you going’.
15. You’ve come to terms with the fact your metabolism has officially gone, ‘Laters bitch!’, which means no longer being able to eat like a teenager whose parents forgot to lock the junk food cupboard.
16. You’d rather go home and sleep in your own bed than sleep on a friend’s sofa or floor.
17. You own flat shoes and even looking at them makes you feel a wave of contentment.
18. The novelty of going to friends weddings has worn off and you now think about the expense rather than just the free bar.
19. You’ve actually got a point where you like your parents. You may have even thanked them for something.
20. Netflix and chill are your two new best friends.
21. You get irritated if people come round to your apartment and make a mess.
22. You understand that there are different types of pasta. You even have a fave.
23. You watch the news. And not by accident.
24. You’d rather wander around Ikea than stand in a packed bar where you can’t hear yourself speak (let alone your friends).
25. Bad boys have lost their appeal. Your idea of a cute guy is now someone with a good job who doesn’t live with his parents or wear T-shirts that say ‘The Man, The Legend’.
26. One of your greatest joys is taking off your bra, throwing on sweats and climbing into a freshly made bed.
27. Finally, but most importantly, you realize life isn’t a popularity contest. You have no problem saying no to people anymore, and telling them where to go if they tick you off!
Congrats, your twenties are O.V.E.R!
Comment: What’s the biggest change you’ve noticed in yourself since hitting your thirties?