This quiz has been scientifically proven to reignite the romance.
Most of us cling to the notion of having a soulmate. A person perfectly designed to share their life with us; a kindred spirit, someone who truly understands us.
But the fantasy of anyone being ‘perfect’ for us is just that: a fantasy. The truth is, as much as we want to buy into the popular relationship myths that tell us once we find ‘The One’, everything else will comfortably fall into place – long-lasting relationships take hard work, and lots of it.
You have to learn to swallow your pride and fight fair, do the little daily things that keep the spark alive, be intentional about setting goals for your future together, and accept that sometimes, despite it all, your partner might need to pull away for a while and take some space to bring their best self back to the relationship.
Love is confusing, overwhelming and rage-inducing. It’s also the most satisfying feeling we’ll ever experience. Which is why the initial stages of that first heady fall into love have been compared to drug addiction. But what happens when those fiery sparks turn into barely visible embers? When you’ve drifted into a sexless marriage, or a relationship that feels like it’s been sucked of all the romance?
According to science, if you and your partner have a spare evening, you can rekindle it. In fact, if you and literally anyone go through the following 36-question quiz, you can fall in love. At least, according to psychologist Arthur Aron, who successfully made two strangers fall in love in a laboratory with this test.
Aron subscribed to the theory that there’s no such thing as a soulmate. With the right amount of emotional investment, anyone can become a viable life partner. Like, literally anyone. It’s all about making yourself vulnerable to someone. Because, as it turns out, mutual vulnerability fosters closeness.
“One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure,” says the researcher.
Keen to find out if it could work for you? Settle in for a distraction-free evening with your SO, and a copy of this quiz…
How to do it: Take turns each asking the same question to each other, until you’ve worked your way through the entire 36 questions. You should focus on really listening to your partner’s responses and trying to provide as much detail in your own answers as possible.
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
Image via tumblr.com.
Comment: Did you take the love quiz with your partner? Did it work?