Thinking of online dating? Oasis Active’s relationship blogger Emma-Kate Dobbin shares some insider tips on how to date online and how to tell whether it could lead to love.
Expectations are the death of dating!
Great expectations only make your love-life great, if it featured in a Jane Austen novel…and even then, most of the people remain tortured by unrequited love…or love that didn’t get it quite right.
Stop focusing on ‘the one’
If you have a ‘type’ or you get so involved in chat that you let your mind wonder into fantasyland, often the people you meet in reality don’t stack up. Drop your ideas on what meeting ‘the one’ should look or feel like, and you will find you open your heart and life to have way more room for who could actually be right in front of you – and be much better suited to you.
Don’t lead with the “wooden leg”
I have a friend with a ‘wooden leg’. She had lots of dates and boyfriends and is now married. When she went on her first dates or even up to her third date, she didn’t reveal her deepest, darkest feelings and the whole story on how that had happened. She waited to get to know her suitors a bit, and get a feeling if she felt they were worthy of her going into ‘deeper’ waters with.
Often though, the amount of people who would metaphorically ‘lead with the wooden leg’ would surprise her. Spilling every single detail about every little thing you have done – from bad relationships to personal insecurities – within a few minutes or hours of meeting – is something to avoid at all cost.
Put your best attributes forward
There is nothing wrong with bonding over the positive rather than things that are more intense, early on. As she says: “Put your best foot forward. Literally.”
It’s a numbers game
Let me let you in on a secret. On the road to ‘the one’ you quickly realise that your ‘one’ is actually one of many people who could suit you. Who you actually commit to is a different story based on timing.
Don’t trap yourself into thinking you don’t need to get out there or that there is anything wrong with making an effort to meet people. The more people you meet, the more relaxed and chilled out you are when you do meet or date people.
The saying, ‘it will happen when you least expect it’, is more likely when you are meeting a lot of people…not sitting at home, only selecting someone if you are certain.
Just because you haven’t met them yet, you fancy someone and they don’t fancy you, you had a bad experience, you went out with a clown, you are frustrated…It doesn’t mean that it’s not funny or a good story that is bringing you closer to the person you will end up with.
Have you tried internet dating? What are your experiences with meeting people online?