“What shoes go with my newfound self-confidence?”
In your twenties, life is like a frenzied game of ping-pong – everything is being thrown at you at a furious pace and you’re running around like a wide-eyed wild thing just to keep in the match. Your career, apartment search, bills, dating, crazy nights out, new friends, old friends, new flames, old flames – it’s all happening, and you’re run off your feet in a dizzy whirlwind wondering when life became so crazy.
Then you turn 30, and the umpire calls time for a break. You catch your breath and head into the locker room to start redesigning the rule book on your terms. That madness is simply unsustainable.
It’s a cliché but oh-so true: turning 30 is a complete game-changer. Life will never be the same again…
1. You wave goodbye to Friends
TV sitcom Friends has a lot to answer for. It gave us the impression we would live in a Peter Pan world with our friends next door forever – and that’s just not true. In your thirties, you make your own life rules, and they are no longer governed by your friends. You have your own commitments, your own relationship and you start seeing them every few months, or even less as they move away and begin their own journey on their own paths.
2. You start to own proper things
You find yourself wandering inside homeware stores and investing in couches and tables rather than sleek bronze tealight holders, which was the biggest commitment you could handle in your twenties. Financial security starts to matter more as you take those big strides into grown-up land and buy a car, or even sign your life away with a mortgage.
3. The best-looking guys stop being attractive
You’ve been treated like crap one too many times and, suddenly, as you glide into your thirties, your head isn’t turned by the best-looking guy in the room anymore. Why? Because you know he knows he’s the best looking guy in the room, and the chances of him treating you like a princess are slimmer than your (old) waistline.
4. ‘Staying in’ is the new ‘going out’
The most magical gift you are given in your thirties is a forceful new word which you tuck into your back pocket and use when you want to curl up on the sofa and watch movie after movie. This magical word is ‘no’. Because, in the fantastical, thrilling land of your thirties, you don’t care what people think anymore and you don’t feel the need to drag yourself to every party you’re invited to in killer heels that are killing you.
5. Suddenly everybody’s getting married
You’ve just about cleared off your student debt and now, along with other hefty financial commitments, you’re landed with another: your friends’ weddings. Weekend after weekend is kidnapped by hens’ nights, spa days, shopping for bridesmaid dresses and shoes that are ‘comfy enough for the day and perfect for dancing at night’. And, with that, your thirties tick by until someone eventually gets divorced.
6. You become picky
With your new wave of confidence, you become more discerning, sophisticated and enlightened in every area of your life. You no longer head for what’s cheapest in store, and you stop buying wine on ‘buy one, get one free’ offers. Your palate chooses a favorite and you’re happy to invest in good wine, good food and quality friends. Yes, you become more selective with your friends, preferring a close-knit circle of SATC-style soulmates.
7. You start to back yourself
The more you say ‘no’, the more liberating it feels. Your self-confidence amplifies and becomes your new fave outfit. As you drift away from the group, you discover a whole new sense of self. You start to trust yourself to make decisions – and you back them all the way.
Image via favim.com.
Comment: What are you most looking forward to doing in your thirties, or if you’re already in your thirties, what’s your fave thing about it?