Because sometimes sex toys can seem scary, we’ve pulled together a beginners guide to sex toys. Consider this the sex (toy) education you never received at school, including the best sex toys for beginners and where to buy them without the awkwardness.
My first time in a sex shop was as awkward as I imagined it would be. It was late on a Tuesday night, my best friend and I were bored and we couldn’t think of anything else to do.
Now, my experience wasn’t a negative one but it sure was overwhelming. Thank goodness my gal pal wasn’t a first-timer because without her guidance, who knows what I would have left with. When I look back at this situation, I really wish I’d had a beginners guide to sex toys, just like this one.
We settled on trusty bullet vibrators and headed to the counter where the cashier checked our IDs – and it turned out that he knew my family. The cashier recognized my address and expressed his excitement at the fact we were both from the same hometown.
He talked on and on about recognizing the house I grew up in as my face grew a deeper shade of red. Noticing my embarrassment, we talked about my (lack of) sexual escapades and he felt sorry enough for me that he gave me a free tube of lube.
I left with my body in a cringe I thought would last forever. How awkward.
While I look back fondly on my time in the ol’ sex shop, there is an easier way to be introduced into the world of adult toys. There are hundreds of online sites to search through to find what you’re looking for – which is difficult when you don’t actually know what you’re looking for.
I understand how overwhelming and scary the world of sex toys can be if you’re just starting out but the best way to overcome fear is with knowledge.
I’ve popped together a beginner’s guide to sex toys for women to give you all the info you need to get started on your journey of sexual empowerment. Investing in your first sex toy is investing in your sexuality and wellbeing – so power to you!
Beginners Sex Toy #1: The trusty bullet vibrator
(Above: First Time Mini Vibrator, $16.95)
The bullet vibrator is brilliantly reliable and the perfect sex toy for a beginner. I would even go as far as to say that it’s the one must-have toy that every woman should own because the design is sleek and subtle and it gets the job done every time.
It may look simple but it’ll leave your body buzzing for more. Bullet vibrators are the perfect sex toy for beginners because they are easy to use, super portable and their size makes them very discreet. You can even get some that look so much like lipstick, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
They’re great for both solo play and pleasure with your partner, and some models can be a very affordable sex toy for beginners. If you’ve got a bit more budget to play with, you’ll find bullet vibrators that are waterproof, remote-controlled, and even ones that can be controlled by an app on your phone.
Shop the best bullet vibrators for beginners:
(Related: How to choose the perfect vibrator)
Beginners Sex Toy #2: The raunchy rabbit
(Above: Posh Silicone Bounding Bunny, $39.95)
Rabbits are nothing to be afraid of and they’re a great beginner sex toy for women who are just starting to explore self-pleasure. Do you remember that episode of Sex and The City when Charlotte gets addicted to her vibrator and her friends need to intervene? Expect similar results from a rabbit.
Once you get comfortable using a bullet, this is a simple step up that all but guarantees orgasms-a-plenty!
Shop the best rabbit vibrators for beginners:
Beginners Sex Toy #3: The delightful dildo
Ah, the classic dildo! We couldn’t leave this one out of our beginner’s guide to sex toys! The dildo is another terrific sex toy for beginners. Complete with a suction cup, dildos are a great way to fly solo and learn about your pleasure points. If you’re new to the game, don’t forget that lube is your friend. It’ll make playtime a world more pleasurable.
Perfect for the woman who doesn’t love the intensity of a vibrator, or who wants to explore G-spot pleasure on her own, there’s no shortage of dildos available on the market. Though I’ll be the first to agree, many of them are designed to look so realistic that it’s just plain… creepy!
Fortunately, if you don’t want a dildo that looks just like the real thing, there are plenty of beautiful (and discreet) dildos for beginners. If silicone isn’t your thing, consider a crystal pleasure wand instead.
Beginners Sex Toy #4: The excellent love egg
(Above: 20-Function Remote Vibrator, $44.95)
Now I was apprehensive with this one at first because it looked like it was a little too much of a beginner’s sex toy for me. The little love egg can be used either externally or it can go inside you and the remote controls the vibrating settings. This would be the perfect toy to bring into the bedroom if you are starting to experiment with your sexuality and what feels good.
A love egg vibrator would be the perfect beginner sex toy for couples too, as it’s discreet and your partner can use it to pleasure (or tease) you as they desire.
Just don’t forget the lube, ladies. It’s not just for penetrative sex, it’s for toys too!
Shop love egg vibrators for beginners:
Beginners sex toy #5: The clitoral stimulator
(Above: The Satisfyer 2, $49.95)
If vibrators are too intense for you or just can’t get you off, there’s another way to enjoy clitoral stimulation—clitoral stimulators. Most on the market (like the Satisfyer 2 above) use air pressure to stimulate by blowing and/or sucking on you, which, according to Cosmo, feels just like a guy going down on you, just more intense!
Because this is the beginner’s guide to sex toys, I should probably add a disclaimer: This toy can be very intense if you’re not used to it, so start on the lowest intensity and gently work your way up as you feel ready.
Shop the best clitoral stimulators for beginners:
Beginners sex toy #6: The beginner’s butt plug
(Above: The Climaximum Oryx, $30.99)
That’s right, we’re talking butt stuff. Don’t be afraid—you’re still in the right place; this is still a sex toy guide for beginners! Anal sex doesn’t have to be scary but you should be wary of rushing in. To ensure the experience is pleasurable start with a small, sleek butt plug and work your way up.
A butt plug can be the perfect way to introduce sex toys into your relationship as it doesn’t get in the way of you and your partner, while still maximizing your pleasure.
Beginners beware—the anus is not self-lubricating! Whip out that lube before proceeding to put this one in your bum, you’ll thank us later.
(Related: Anal 101: A Complete Guide To Anal Sex)
Shop the best butt plugs for beginners:
Beginners sex toy #7: The ultimate couples toy
Adult toys can be for two! By now you’re a sex toy pro and you’re ready to spice up your sex toy repertoire, and perhaps ready to invite your partner to join in with you. Whether you’re on a date night or looking to heat up a long-term relationship, this is the perfect beginner sex toy for couples to add to your collection. Letting your partner take over and control your orgasm is not only hot-as-hell, but it’s also oh-so-satisfying.
The We-Vibe was designed with couples in mind. It provides intense vibrations both internally and externally, while being hands-free so that you and your partner can keep your hands where they belong: On each other.
(Related: 10 Couples Sex Toys For Exploring Anal Play)
BONUS TIP: Don’t skip the lube
(Above: Adam & Eve Lubricant, $9.95)
This might not be the sexiest tip in our beginner’s guide to sex toys, but ladies, lube is important. When you’re exploring with sex toys, it’s a must-have.
I know I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. A few drops of lube are going to make flicking the bean so much more satisfying. This is especially important when exploring anal play. Making everything is nice and lubricated ensures that you’re on the way to O-Town every time.
If you enjoyed the beginners guide to sex toys, you’ll also enjoy:
- 7 Sex Toys That’ll Make You Orgasm Faster Than You Can Say OMG!
- These Are the Best Adam & Eve Vibrators You Need if You Want To Come
Join the discussion: What is your best beginner sex toy tip?